Saturday, March 31, 2018

Ceaseless Winter




Will start with a disclaimer. Grammatical errors will exist on here so please don't get upset. 

Apparently the last beer review had some terrible errors. Yes the last beer review was a doozy but I’m only one person. My Mac computer where most is written has a fun feature called ‘autocorrect’ which changes words in ways to make me look like an idiot. It’s odd cause it is supposed to help but actually does the opposite as most of you have found out with your phones.

Also, something else you don’t know about Lonebiker. Yes this may come as a shock to most but there are no interns, no executives, no editors, and worse of all. No beer pour girls! Gasp! I’ll give you guys a few minutes for that to sink in...

Hence when errors are made, they most likely get missed.I try to scan a post before it goes out but when your the one who writes it, it is hard to find issues. Hence this is why magazines have editors.. To make everyone happy I’ll keep today’s ride write up short.

Wait, fuck that. Today was incredible. 

It was almost a ride that didn't happen. Checking the temperatures last night and seeing it dip down to what would feel like minus thirty I had lost hope on riding today. "It's almost April, I want to ride real bikes" I said to my wife looking sheepishly down at the ground in a pathetic attempt to get sympathy. 

Mrs Lonebiker wants none of that. What was I thinking?

From MillCreek pool to the southside incredi-trails aka Caddyshack and Andre's, every literal inch of snow was amazing. It was like riding in another dimension. I felt like my mind was in an altered state. If Winter never went away and stayed like it is right now I would have no issue with the change and would sell the Summer bikes. 

The trails combined with prodigious views of the valley made me feel lucky to be alive. Even the snow had a different scrunch sound underneath my ridiculous clown bike tires. It was a more meaty sound. Could it be that Winter knows it had a great run but it's on it's last legs? Or was the bike sending out some loud roars trying to strike fear in the fresh snow knowing this will be sadly coming to an end soon.

Easily one of the best of the year. The return took me back on the lower multi use after finishing Andre's at the Capilano bridge. 

Get out there kids. It's amaze right now and won't last for long. 




Thursday, March 29, 2018

Beer Friday. Lost Coast Brewery, Sharkinator White IPA


Greetings on another Beer Friday.
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Should I just tank this segment already? I mean sheeeeit...

An executive laced heavily with axe body spray just leaned over my shoulder and whispered in to my ear 'don't even fucking think about it, needle dick!' Whoa... That was a bit harsh. Hey executives. I run shit on here! And Axe body spray? Really? Are you guys wanting to be seventeen year old douchebags and not the sixty five year old ones you really are? You bunch of corvette, porsche  driving well over the hill driving useless tea-baggers...

Sorry about that, the ratings or hits have been down on the site as of late and I'm a little bit stressed. I like blaming the executives but they do nothing wrong. Is it the content? Should I start adding scantly clad women almost bearing all like that chive site does and can't get over why they get so many hits? I can stand there and act dumbfounded as to why so many guys are clicking on lonebiker when behind me is some poor girl not loved by her father enough wiggling her ass in front of the camera. I can write something as to how much I appreciate all the followers unbeknownst to me they are just there to look at the scantly clad women.  

Ugh... People are so dumb.

Wow, I'm coming off extra grumpy on this one. Not sure why. This is pre-written on my first day off as I am going to nights next rotation and although the thought of doing a beer review first thing in the morning is awesome. My children might start getting worried.

Lost Coast Brewery located in or around Eureka California which is in northern California, from what I hear is a lot less douche bag orientated and the riding is supposed to be incredible. This beer is on the theme of the greatest movie in the world combined with one of the scariest living things in the world.

Guys... Imagine a terminator shark! Jeebus I just peed a little.

It poured a dirty golden colour. A murky fluid sprang out of the bottle and we were all a bit over the top satisfied. The white head stayed for a bit and rescinded leaving light lacing on the side of the glass. The first sip threw a large smattering of apples. Odd cause apples in drinks are not good but it worked for this one. The IPA sting wasn't there in any way which made me wonder. Is this a true IPA? Upon further sips it gave a more breadline earthy tone. It was pleasant. Some citrus came into the palate as well.

Very good.

This beer gets 4 suds out of 5.


Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The Long Way

You gotta love RMB for the incredible videos they put out. This guy truly gets it in every sense of passion that is riding. Alone in a van riding all over North America. 

Damn...

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Happy Wednesday



No more riding for a while. Sorry kids. A hospital visit was warranted today after some pains got quite worse in the chest region after a hard crash ironically in the same spot on a trail that I bitched about them dumbing down earlier this year. With a couple more days and then work starting up again expect some videos and maybe a photo dump or possibly two in the next week or two. maybe three..


Monday, March 19, 2018

The Call of the Shit Bike Commences





 After a rather wet and dumpy snow fall I took a day off to rest a tattered old body after a crash on EMP Blast on Saturday that did more damage than I thought.

Today I went out with low expectations. Much like my wife had on our honeymoon.

See what I did there?

Boom.... Still got it.

Wait a minute... Even I'm an asshole to me!

Well... anyways. A low expectation ride (*looks around the room for anyone with a smart ass comment.) was had from Capilano Park to a texted destination ride. Something I started where I ask someone to point out a spot in the river valley and from where I started I go to that area. All within reason of course. If the ride today started in Terwillegar I would have not made the trip and got another destination. Cause an end to end ride on the fatbike does not sound like a lot of fun. Well.. Now that I think of it, that would be a fun day.

So brethren member Jason came up with the Sunridge ski area lower trail. Boom. A destination very attainable from Capilano.

From the parking lot I entered MoonRaker and I knew exactly what I expected it to be and it was. Very loose wet snow which threw me around a bit. The trail conditions right now are exactly what fat bikes were made for. The loose sloppy snow was ridden. The only downside was the effort level was naturally quite high. Something I didn't want any part with.

So a few sections of GoldDigger were ridden but I soon bailed. It was all rideable so if you are up for it giver. That was not me today. Or the other person's tracks that I followed and saw him turn around midway through the first section. That sadly helped in my decision to bail.

So paved trails on a fatbike was the majority of the day. There was no reason I could not be riding the shit bike today which is why it is being prepped for a ride on the next outing. I made it to the Sunridge ski area after crossing the Yellowhead highway river bridge but bailed on the idea of riding as it looked like it would be crap.

So paved trails took me back. Time to get the shit bike ready..

the sad pussification of society continues
lots of loose wet snow, fun for another day

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Snow Day Fascination





Another roll before everything starts melting and turns to complete garbage. Today fresh wet snow was falling adding to the nostalgic awesome that is the river valley. I mean... Could it get any better down there? Right from day one when I had my steel hard tailed Rocky Mountain Altitude I was obsessed with the valley.

Today was a bit of a continuation from yesterdays trip. Not before a hard wipe out on EMP blast. You know.. Someone should really make that trail safer. Bah ha ha ha! I kill me.

Yesterday I had wanted to head up in deep east Laurier and climb out and ride Mackinnon but my legs said no. Today, from Kinseman to Hawerlak I crossed and rode that bitch. The legs screamed from yesterday but I pressed on. The Mackinnon singletrack was ridden and that is where the ride high hit. Everything was cleared which added to the high.

Guys.. Have I ever mentioned how riding singletrack is akin to smoking crack or shooting heroin?

Don't look at me like that. Cause it is, and you know it.

Fuckin ridin bikes. It's the best.

I rode up well, pushed my bike up the museum hill not cause of the legs but cause of mud on an exposed part of the river valley. We are going to get lots of that now so please do the right thing and not ride the muddy trails. Especially on a fat bike. That's just dumb you fools!

The Groat Road Rollercoaster or whatever it is called now was ridden in reverse for the first time in my life. With that new addition it was quiet awesome and that will not be the last time it is ridden that direction.

Naturally a visit to my old flame Victoria happened and I was again in awe. It is amazing how you can drop into areas of the river valley and find yourself in a Narnia like state. It's hard to explain if you have never been there. I think it's time to rekindle an old romance with Victoria's Secret. She was simply amazing today.




this is why monday-friday morning/ afternoon rides are so much better

Friday, March 16, 2018

An Appetency For Fat Tires





After a week of work feeling like the awkward new guy at a neW JOB, I WENT OUT ON A BIKE RIDE. oH WHO AM I KIDDING. I AM AWKWARD MOST OF THE TIME. tHE RIDE FROM oLD tIMERS TO A SUGGESTED DESTINATION WHERE I ASKED kENT WHERE TO GO.

Ugh... My caps lock was stuck on. See what I mean? Awkward... Even in writing things.

Thanks for telling me guys, could of tapped me on the shoulder and given me a whispered 'hey there bud, might want to check your caps lock.' But no... Oh wait.. I write this and then it's posted. See? Not only awkward but a bit slow.

The trails were quite incredible for mid March. A mix of paved and singletrack was the order of the day. Sore legs from working on a drag line in Genesee kept me away from the hills which pushed up the km's I guess.

Not a lot to report. An incredible ride today. Best of the young year? Perhaps. Every moment on the bike was like a dream state. Why do bike rides do that sometimes?

I rode the Wolf Willow singletrack after much contemplation in the ravine. It was a very smart choice as opposed to the latter which is the multi use. The bike was phenomenal today. I think at the end of the season you feel the nostalgia of the fat bike a bit stronger.

With warm weather coming, it's hard to say how many more rides will be on the wide tries and that saddens me in a way.

The ride ended on River Valley Road as the legs and body didn't want any part of the ice on the return via Emily Murphy.



spring is here, a turn around on skyline as things got muddy, don't ride muddy trails kids. 

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Beer Friday. Trou Du Diable, Shawinigan Handshake


Greetings from the past. This should be posted at the end of my first stint on a new job or after the first week of my second stint.. . I don't know if I am working two straight weeks or one due to training. So I have no idea when this will be posted. Are you still with me? That's great! Other changes to the Beer Friday spectacular will be two posts per month instead of three as it has been all last year. It was more fitting to do three in camp to post every Friday and then my last day but I don't think how that would make sense now. It might even come to being posted once per month.

I have no idea what will happen, I am doing these ahead of schedule as I have done all year because I don't know what is happening.

Now that I have lost the entire audience we are doing a beer named after a famed incident when a former Prime Minister of Canada choked a protester in his hometown of Shawinigan Quebec. It was quite the spectacle as he choked him and knocked out a tooth and started going after another before the RCMP went after the protesters. The bottle which features Jean Chretian and for any reason only God knows why our beloved Canadian hockey dickhead, Don Cherry. I would honestly pay money to choke that man but that's just me.

At 6.5% this one pours a murky golden beer. It was a bit deceiving from the dark bottle as we thought it would be a dark one. That move made a couple interns pass out. Well played Trou Du Diable... Well played. It smelled of dank peach with a splash of citrus. With being a high alcohol content beer this one hides it well. The first sip was pugnacious which it even tells you on the bottle (how about that?). Late Fall grass and old fruits from your Grandma's garden round it out. All in all, this one is very good despite having to look at a cartoon picture of that douchebag on the bottle.

This beer gets 3.5 suds out of 5.




Friday, March 9, 2018

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Downtown Bring Me Back Down



Ladder Bridge Crossing Roland from sherijumper on Vimeo.

An end to what seemed like an infinite number of days off. The rides will get quiet here for the next week as the first work rotation starts.

A ride from Mill Creek up into the city and through the LRT paved trails and back into the valley via the Capilano Bridge. The south side trails took me back although I avoided Caddy Shack (is that the name?) as riding it westward is tough and in the winter can be a tad on the brutal side.

I saw the Red Bull Crashed Ice (is that what it's called? sheeit...) setup and went on. The amount of people expected is insane and I am glad I will be nowhere near the area at the time. Although a bit tempting to see. The track looks quite steep and fast. A metaphor of how todays ride went.

Not quite.

Back in the valley I hit Andre's trail and could not think of the last time I had been there. The scene was incredible. At times I felt like I was in a Disney fantasy film and sadly realized I was just riding a bike in Edmonton.

Still... Nowadays, riding a bike in Edmonton. Pretty awesome.





Monday, March 5, 2018

Manic Monday






I love working a schedule where everyone works and I am off. The valley was all mine today from a ride from Emily Murphy to the Fort Edmonton loop, across the river and through Laurier. Mackinnon was visited ending an incredible day on the bike.

This one is picture heavy so I'll try and keep it light. The conditions were great weather wise. The ride started on some very sloppy multi use trail where I started thinking 'oh woe is me' and started considered texting my wife to tell her I was sad.

I pressed on and it snapped. Maybe the incredible what looked like a make believe world I was in was what changed my mood. Like a junkie getting a hit of heroin after a long drought I was alive. Again, while riding I wondered why people do hard drugs when they could simply ride a bike.

People are strange. Oh well. Back to the videos...

Loose Snow, MacKinnon. from sherijumper on Vimeo.