Sunday, March 29, 2020
Sorry for the lack of riding. It doesn't have much to do with the current state of things, this lull is attributed to coming off nights. I would think after being on this schedule for years I would be somewhat used to it but no, that isn't the case.
Yesterday I woke up at 4 in the morning and was wide awake yet dead tired and could not for the life of me nap. Today, I went to bed at a reasonable time and had alarms set for eight in the morning. I say alarms cause it was meant to be plural. I slept through all three alarms and woke up at one in the afternoon. I tried to go for a ride but felt like too much of a bag off shit and sat in the Capilano parking lot and left. The good news is it did not seem that busy there. My musings on social media had told me that big groups of people still are inhabiting the valley.
Whether that is just social media bullshit or the truth remains to be seen. I do believe that people are that dumb though and are probably congregating in the river valley as their malls and gyms are closed. But yet... Social media told me this.
Fuck social media. Especially right now.
I'll have to get out and see for myself.
Mill Street which should be named Mill Creek. Am I right!? "Hey interns!" I yelled "Find out about Mill Creek brewing and does it exist?"
Apparently there are two breweries in North America. We should get on that and bring some in.
Mill Street Breweries, apologies if you are reading this. Mill Creek is a huge part of the riding culture here hence a beer named after it would be quite swell. Mill Street is headquartered in Toronto with brew pubs all over Canada (well, Alberta, Newfoundland and Ontario.)
We poured and a decent head appeared (about the size of two fingers pressed tightly together to be exact.) A murky dirty looking beer sat in the glass tempting us to taste it. i am assuming this is a seasonal release from Mill Street and it comes out in the Fall. A quick look at their website confirmed a big yes and I know you might be sitting there thinking 'but lonebiker... how did you know it would come out in the fall!?'
I have my way kids, some call me a wizard. Others call me amazing. I'm just a guy who knows his beer.
We tasted and this marzen styled beer gave a slightly bitter taste at first. Some caramel malts and raw corn come along as add ins. This is an amazing Fall beer. When I sip it reminds me of that amazing season. Cold weather, shorter days, the fall harvest. I swear it all hits me with each sip!
Ok, maybe I'm being a little bit ridiculous now.
To finish, this one is a delight. I'd recommend one come Fall time unless you can find one now.
This beer gets 4 suds out of 5.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
**This does not count as an official beer review**
I mean.. Just look at the can kids. This happened last set of days off when this can suddenly ruptured in my den as I sat there leering at train pictures on the internet. No heat or cold involved. This guy just ended things before anyone had a chance to talk him out of it.
We are taking this opportunity for an update. You may not have heard but apparently there is some sort of deadly respiratory virus going around making people lose their minds so they boldly started hoarding toilet paper.
With that being said, I don't know how much longer my job will last. Normally a scary situation to be in but almost the whole world is going through the same thing, so in a weird way I feel better about things as far as work goes.
We just finished a week of nights and normally I would be planning bike rides and thinking of general ideas on getting outside to see the world right now. Guys, I have to be honest. I will feel like a giant asshat if I do go riding. I know the singletrack should be quiet but now all the minions who have nowhere to go as the malls are closed are now plugging up the valley as I've seen on social media.
Do I ride? Or hide at home?
I want to ride a bike really really badly. Not gonna lie. What happens when I encounter someone on tight singletrack? I know there will be people. That's a guarantee. Do I stop my bike and run into the woods keeping a respectable distance? A very noble idea to solve that problem (pats self on back.) What about groups of people? There were tons on the Mill Creek singletrack last week before work which will be a huge problem if they are there again.
I understand people are bored and need to get out of their house but why are they congregating in large groups? I know the areas in the valley where these videos emanated are the popular areas which attracts all the knuckle draggers so I guess I'll keep away from those areas.
Well there you have it. You might expect ride write ups this week unless things change.
Well I opened the Brother Bear and it surprisingly looked descent. The one fingered head was a surprise as I was expecting nothing. Let me sip.. hold on.
Oh fuck.. Thats awful!
We will do a regular review possibly tomorrow. Sorry Brother Bear. We will find this and do another one in the future.
In the meantime. Please respect the Doctors telling people what to do right now. They are in charge. My advice for the pandemic. Stay off social media and stay very far away from those horrible 24 hour news networks. That will do nothing but make you feel like garbage. White forty year old women have completely lost their fucking minds, so social media is a bit of a downer.
Don't worry kids. The world will have it's humans back in tip top shape soon so the humans can keep destroying the earth.
Stay safe out there.
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Yes I am still naming rides after Alexisonfire songs, we at Lonebiker figured this was the best name to use given the current state of things. I'm sorry, are you sick of hearing about this? I sure am. Lets talk about bike rides instead, much better.
*intern leans in "didn't you just have a Corona beer review?"
"Pack your shit and get the hell out of here!" I yelled pointing towards the door.
So it was old school Mill Creek. The same spot I have been parking in for twenty something years. I swear I should purchase one of the houses that run along the street, but I won't. The singletrack was all ridden as per the usual Mill Creek visit. In the open treed areas ice laced the trails making things a bit challenging.
The multi use trails especially were quite busy. It was not just regular river valley folk down there as the reactions towards my bike from a lot of people screamed 'first time ever not going to a mall or Costco.' A lot of these people have never seen a fat bike and did not know what to do as I approached and wanted to pass.
We all know why these people were there. No need to bring up that subject again.
*another intern "Corona beer review."
I had her thrown out by my trusty bodyguard Sven.
"Damn, these cocky interns hey Sven?" I snort spoke.
I stared at him waiting for an answer.
*another intern "He doesn't speak english buddy."
"Sven!" I yelled as I made eye contact, and yet another intern was thrown out of lonebiker headquarters.
Sorry guys.. I really go off track with this intern shit don't I? All in, the ride was a bit frustrating. I had run in's with people on the trails which was partly my fault but still... One was entirely my fault as I stood in the middle of the trail with headphones in looking at my phone wondering why I'm getting countless phone calls from out of the province.
The other. A guy in a Range Rover with his window down rolling up to me slowly after he backed out of his driveway which literally parallels the start of Gnome Trail. You would think he would be used to bike traffic but the homeless would be a problem I guess. With my Spring beard the homeless look has descended upon me but homeless people don't ride fat bikes with bike gear and helmets. A quick "Can I help you?" as I looked up and made eye contact with him and he immediately sped off.
I like to think my badassness is what scared him.
"Any more interns got something to say about that last sentence?" I yelled looking around the room.
The ride from Gnome took me to the LRT bridge where I crossed and returned back via Walterdale.
|kinseman rec centre having a meet and greet and nickelback merch sale today|
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Finally. I got out in the cold after hiding in the house from the cold for the last three days.
Yes I know... I'm a weak weak man.
The intent was there to ride though I tell ya. On two occasions I packed the bike and drove (to the outskirts of Beaumont) and turned around. Yesterday was the day that made me go out today despite what the weather was doing. A day spent cruising social media and getting quite depressed about the current state of humanity.
Why do I do that? I seriously know better.
So here we are, first ride of the set off and it was short but great. A parking spot at Kinseman kicked me across the river to Victoria's Secret and then Groat Road Rollercoaster (sorry, I just can't call it by it's new name.) If you are responsible for the name change and happen to be reading this need not be offended, I'm just an older white male and we are truly set in our ways.
The trails were so nice I rode them back on the return and took the High Level back to Kinseman. Like I said it was short but quite amaze.
Friday, March 13, 2020
Quit panicking people. We will all be fine, for the love of God quit getting in fights at the grocery store and Costco as some people think having 84 rolls or more of toilet paper will be the way to survive this.
Yes, I know. I melt steel together for a living so I am not even close to being qualified to give any sort of medical advice but if we could all just calm down a little that would be great. The hysteria and fear that is being fed from the tools at the media is not helping which then feeds into the social media circles is beyond ridiculous.
So here we have Corona. A beer that is taking a serious shit kicking all thanks to the Coronavirus. The brewery has already lost over 132 million dollars in lost revenue and they are expecting to lose a lot more as this thing makes it's way around the world.
I don't get it? It's named after this flu and people won't touch it. I guess these are the same people hoarding toilet paper, so in the end it does wash out in regards to eyebrow raising from the sensible folks.
Come on kids... The real bummer here is the Edmonton Oilers were killing it and now the hockey playoffs are in serious jeopardy.
That saddens me deeply. Let's have a beer and talk about it.
The pour gave a small half a fingered head in a weak effort to gain trust from the beer review team. It sadly didn't work. We went into this a bit skeptical as previous Mexican beers did not show any effort in being awesome. The smell was over the top skunky I once thought Molson Canadian was horribly skunky then I had a whiff of Corona. Whoa man...
Not gonna lie. This review is not going to go well for Corona. It's failed in two categories already and the review team is not giving much hope for this beleaguered beer to pull through and win over some hearts.
We sipped... I can't remember the last time I had a Corona. I do remember an incident with it spraying all over the place as we were out eating and I put my lime in and tipped it over and it fire hosed all over the restaurant. Yes. That was quite awesome.
This time the taste gave me.... Honestly. It was better than I thought it would be. It did taste a tad skunky but the overall taste was fine. I did not run to the sink with a mouthful and spit it out. Other tastes were that of well.. I cannot discern. Guys. this is an amateur beer review site, you know that right? Let me try again. Eyes closed and a full sip. Here we go...
Aww damnit! I opened my eyes. Lets try again.
Nope. Nothing... I'm getting nothing but skunky dankness from this. It seems to be getting worse as it warms up. Dear Lord! This better not be a premonition as to what's coming Corona related!
This beer gets 1.5 suds out of 5. Now wash your damn hands you sick fucks.
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