Tuesday, July 7, 2020

More Rambling Tales on Yet Another Wet Weather Ride







Have I been so focused on the work situation that I have completely lost track on caring about these amazing wet weather rides?  Yes work is quite fubar right now due to the current world situation and I know a drastic change is imminent come Thursday when I return for nights. For Lonebiker fans this could be a good thing as rides will increase significantly. Personally if not a layoff I'm hoping for a day less work which will help increase riding. Will that happen? Ugh...

The stressful part of all this is I finally found a decent good paying job where I am home somewhat most of the time. The crew is amazing and the work at most times is not too bad. There really is no sense on thinking about the situation as work looms closer as whatever happens will happen.

Till then.. A ride out on the mean streets of Edmonton. A ride start in the old school Mill Creek district and through the  ravine where I exited through Louise Mckinneys magical paved offerings and did not return to the valley until near the end of the ride on River Valley Road by crossing the mighty Menzies and soon I was out of the valley.

The city used to suck when it comes to bike culture. Things have changed and the culture has gotten a lot stronger and better but there still isn't enough to get a person through the city. The new bike lanes are amaze but we need more.

I wandered aimlessly with intentions of booking it to the train yard but the roads and lack of safe paths wouldn't take me there, from there I searched out bike lane after bike lane or better, a paved path and finally found one remembering from a ride with Kent and Zara. It was a nice find as I was quite frustrated at the lack of safe places to ride.

I made it to the Old Strathcona area where the backyard bike lane took me home where I suddenly felt the e-bikes were going to have their revenge for me taking down two yesterday and bragging about it on this blog like I made a Jason Statham move. I swear once on those busy ass bike lanes I felt the revenge of the E-bike Gods rumbling. It started at a low muffled roar and soon was a pleasant electric whirr.

Fucking terrifying kids!

As I started to ride I made it into a small sprint to catch top drivetrain speed (fuck ya kids! I was hauling some ass!) but felt the E bikes I knew who were behind me breathing down my neck all the while that (ir)rational voice inside of my head was screaming "THE ELECTRIC POWERED BIKES ARE GAINING! AND HOLY JEEBUS ARE THEY ANGRY!"

That voice was all I could hear for a solid 8 blocks. (or how many blocks it is, I was just guessing, don't send me angry emails please.)

I made it to the end unscathed and un-passed. Fuck ya! I just high fived myself and it was great!

an angry mob of pro e-bike protesters even started pestering me now!

Sunday, July 5, 2020

That Wetness that was Sunday






Some more.. ahem.. Wet weather riding which featured wet weather .

I really need to find a decal company that will make me small bikes with an electric bolt through the middle  so I can put on the side of my bike like an air force pilot has markings for his kills on the sides of the plane.

I took down two today and damn it felt good.

No I didn't club them over the head and leave them for dead in the bush. I passed two. One whilst climbing (pats self on back) and one on the flat paved. Say what you want about e-bikes. I used to hate them but they make sense and it gets people outside and off the couch.

They are damn fast though and it is always a great feeling when you pass one, especially when the one you pass is ridden by someone who looks like they might ride their bike once a week at minimum.

The ride was a mix of valley and residential neighbourhood riding trying to find entrances to the valley.

All in all, best ride of the off set so far despite the extreme lack of singletrack. The lower river valley trails are all either underwater or were previously underwater so your best bet is to stay high up in those hills kids. Meh... It's probably muddy there too.

I would post GPS tracks for this but I shut off my Strava App halfway through. Whoops.

lower fort ed mut, i turned around
oh don't worry, i sacrificed mind and body to tell you it's safe. 

Saturday, July 4, 2020

Why You Gotta be like That July?



Not too hopeful on any sort of dry trail but I did set out with good intentions. A further investigation later which showed the higher trails and the ones maintained by the good people of the city were mostly good to go.

I did have that feeling but planned on riding GoldDigger as I pulled into Capilano park to a very busy parking lot.

It was madness. I thought they opened the malls? Where are all these people coming from?

So onward to the trails...

I hit... Ahhh shit. What's that trail name again? Right above the parking lot? Logarithmic?

Come on damnit! Think!

Moonbeam?

Who cares. It will get renamed by some group anyways in a year or two. *see disclaimer.

Moonraker... It's Moonraker. Thank you Strava for that one. Moonraker was ridden and the signs of very heavy rain which happen every July were evident on the trails with fallen small tree limbs and tracing on the trails from running water. Yes, it was dry and good to ride other than the end where there is a section between the paved and the road where Golddigger starts. That section was pure crap. Picture below. Other had started going around the mudded out area creating new trail which I strongly disagree with. I'm sorry if this is you. My belief is mountain biking is a green hobby and the mantra of "leave no trace'" is thrown out the window because people cannot stay away from a trail and let it dry. This angers the inner hippie in me. There is absolutely no point of destroying vegetation because a section of trail is mudded out. Then there are the people who ride through the mud..

Soon I was on GoldDigger and had a feeling the low spots would be soup and they were. A hike a bike through and I soon found high ground. Yes. I walked through the mudded spots. A claim from some reading that it's just the same and you might be right. Is it best to just avoid the area altogether? I do remember an old IMBA rule about just riding through the middle

Well damn.. Someone send emails. This should be a good forum, podcast discussion.

After Golddigger I avoided Hustler knowing it would most likely be quite sloppy and rode up to the Science Park and went to the tracks and had no clue where to go. I soon found myself on the top of the ski hill and decided to join the hordes of people and ride back on the paved forlorn with July allergies giving me jelly legs.

Did I mention the mosquitoes? Bring spray or a flamethrower if you are heading out.

Also I hear the river is up and very fast (I never even looked today), so be careful out there kids.


oh dear god, the humanity! 
*disclaimer. need not be offended if you are the one responsible for renaming a trail after probably pouring your heart and soul into a hard weekend of work while douchetards like myself come ride it and complain about everything on their precious 'blog.' You worked on the trail you have full renaming rights and when you see me ride by on my precious Moots with the small wheels please yell "Hey Lonebiker! Go fuck a donkey you fat gorilla!" or something along those lines. That would probably make my day although I probably won't hear you as I am so low on the douche ladder that I wear headphones when I ride.

Goodnight kids. Love you.

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Beer Canada Day, Molson, Golden Ale


Happy Canada Day kids. We went with Canada's home beer for this one and brought in Molson, Golden Ale for today's Canada Day beer tester.

So how come no ride was posted today you ask? With the now wet summer theme we are having with non stop rain and with the amount that was coming down I wanted no part in being out in those conditions. It was that type of rain today that I dislike the most. Maybe this is only an
Albertan thing but torrential downpour for fifteen minutes followed by sun for ten and then overcast and rain again...

Like come on man.

Just make up your mind on what you want to do sky!

So I sat in my house and went on a pattern of Netflix iPad time mixed in with Nasa and Smithsonian channel shows saved up on our PVR and of course some live NFL Network programming which made for an ok day up until about two-0-clock when the boredom sunk in. I should have ridden then but that was a point in the day of heavy rain.



Much to my surprise is Molson Golden has been around for quite a while. A visit to the local beer store to try and get something Canadian and I grabbed this naively thinking it was a new product. Wait a minute, hold on a second. Did I review this already a long time ago? I already picked up the wrong beer tonight once. A quick Google search told me we are fine and Olga poured this and it showed a strong four and a half fingered head stacked up just nicely and I knew Olga fucked this up.

I gave her a bone chilling stare.

Once the beer settled down which took little time we took our first sip with high hopes this will be like this Molson M review that blew our minds in the early days. I could not find anything on the Molson website about this one but did see that this is a re-release of Molson Golden and could not find any other info in regards to dates.

We partook and we were not blown away by pure awesome but we were happy. Tastes of classic Canadian pilsner wheats and lightly toasted malt. This one does feel a tad watered down but you do get that with pilsners sometimes. If you can find this I'd recommend it. The golden foil (its not real gold!) adds a touch of class as I pulled it out of the bag after I got home from the store in my model paint stained Pear Jam t shirt and track shorts accompanied by black flip flops.

My day off stay at home gear is pretty dope. So is this beer, well it's ok..

This beer gets 3 suds out of 5.

Canada rules kids.


Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Happy Tuesday

But it's Friday here at LB headquarters...

Maybe some riding this week.. Maybe not. Not too sure what the plans are with allergies being quite the issue and July being the filthy whore that she is, looming.

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Oh Glamorous Pavement You Sexy Bitch





I gotta get a gravel bike or some sort of road type cruiser for these days. How many times have I said that?

*intern gets up, awkwardly leaves....

*door creaks, slowly closes..

*footsteps going away...

Anyways. A very uninspired ride from my Mill Creek home base through the valley and into the big valley and soon enough I was out. I milled about downtown for a bit and left. I swear I did not want to ride my bike today. I'm sorry it's just July. I know it's still June but the July vibes are here, an allergic reaction to something this time of year always comes making my legs wobble like a CNN or Fox news reporter having to tell the truth for once.

I hate it. It sucks. Every year at this time.

This ride and the few coming in the future will literally be only for the blog. The numbers are quite high so I feel compelled to entertain you. Apologies for being a bitch right now but this time of year and me do not get along well. And hey, thanks for reading.

As for the rest of the ride. Strange people watching on a bike downtown was top notch phenomenal. Weirdos were out in droves and I loved every second of it. I dipped back into the valley across Dawson and rode the entire Mill Creek outskirts back to home base.


it's for those fine ass edmonton views yo!
"you guys need a string line or anything"i shouted heroically from afar. 


Happy Monday