Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Sunday, April 23, 2017

An Expected Wet Roll Through Winter's Return




A ride I probably would have not taken part in if I knew my time at home would be longer. Yet with leaving tomorrow in the darkest hours of the night this one was a must do.

Wet sticky snow has enveloped the Edmonton area once again and I pulled out the fat bike  because: Why the fuck not? With the shitbike in desperate need of repair it was nice going back to something that runs incredibly well.

As I said. 'Wet sticky snow' is in the area and I looked like a champ on the five inch wide tires. The amount of snow that had fallen made travel quite difficult yet the Winter bike trampled through the snow like Charlie Sheen running through a shallow lake trying to get some more hookers and cocaine.

Over the years of owning this bike it showed it's true Winter prowess a few times. Not a lot sadly but today this bike was the king of the valley. I rode with confidence from Kinseman to Alexander Circle in Glenora. A much shortened ride after being sprayed by the five inch wheel with wetness non stop.

It was literally like an upside down shower. The water sprayed up and I didn't care. This short ride was indubitably awesome.

Just what the Doctor ordered.

One more tomorrow? Here is hoping.

fat bike territory looks like this


Friday, April 21, 2017

More Pavement (with a splash of multi use)




Another pavement Spring ride. A short one this time as it was unexpected but worth every pedal stroke.

From Kinseman to Quesnell and back via Laurier.

Thats all I got. Strava and the pics might help tell the story a bit better.




potty break via laurier

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Tales of Spring Riding




Ladies and Gentlemen. We at the Lonebiker.com apologize for the last few ride write ups, which well to me. Seem a bit boring. Or is it just the rides in general? Paved routes with the occasional multi use thrown in to try and keep things interesting. The theme has been much of the same. Not by choice. I'm being a good boy and staying off the singletrack as one should this time of the year.

The ride which wasn't supposed to happen today after evening plans fell through. The main intent was to get a picture of the bike in front of Gretzky. During the season whenever I'd ride by and pay homage to the great one I noticed they win. So I kept that up in the playoffs after seeing the first game, the boys needed me.

So tonight I made my way over via Capilano and the back way into Rogers on the LRT trails. The bike was quiet to start the ride making me happy. I arrived at Rogers and Gretzky was mobbed making a photo-op impossible. I thought  of yelling to make room for me and explain the situation.

I opted to ride away instead. Immedietly the bike started creaking again.

The ghosts of the Oilers perhaps?

Forgetting the date I rode through the legislature and came out the backside park area. A wave of pot smoke hit me. Hippies and potheads were everywhere. 'Ah yes! They are celebrating Hitlers birthday' I immedietly remembered. How weird of those hippies...

I crossed the Low Level and rode thesouth side of the valley all the way back. Hills, creaking and all.

Ride finished. Ready for singletrack. Sadly I'll have to wait a couple weeks.
if they lose, blame the people, the people were in the way
leaving ada boulevard, ho hum... 

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Bridges to Dawson



A ride from the Science Park with the potential of becoming something much bigger than it was as without thinking about it, all the bridges were crossed which sparked the idea of a long bridge ride on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon.

Sadly though my bike had other ideas and a very loud creaking sound rang out loudly from the bottom bracket area. So loud in fact flocks of birds flew away from the trees as I approached. Deer ran away. The homeless fled into their tents.

I stopped right after Capilano bridge and had a look and found that my crank bolts had all become quite loose. Inside and out. After tightening them I hopped on and the streak was still there.

The shit bike almost ended up in the river at that moment.

I said to hell with it and put headphones in. You could still hear the noise over the headphones and it drove me absolute bat shit crazy. That's when I pulled the plug and decided to climb out into town and head for home the quick way on the paved trails beside the LRT tracks.

Through some sort of downtown miracle once up into town the creaking stopped. Could it have been the loose bolts? All signs point to yes. A bit of time spent at home taking them out and adding a little grease sounds like a good idea.

Overall, the ride was uneventful. Typical Spring time pavement riding. A shame I didn't stay in the valley. Way to go shit bike.. Way to go...



Tuesday, April 18, 2017

A Doofus and His Shit Bike (non valley version)







A great system of weather has settled in the area for my time at home. Waking up to another wet snowfall this morning had me looking at options other than riding today. Once mini Lonebiker one and two confirmed that they were happy hanging out at home for their last day off before school started up again I knew immediately what has to be done.

The shitbike had to be set free again.

And set free it was. A start up at my old school parking spot in  Mill Creek and I was off on paved trails. A quick exit on the multi use next to Blue Man group happened. The only multi use that would be ridden today.

Quickly it was decided that bike lanes roads and paths around the south inner core of the city would be ridden. A very much apropos ride on a terrible weathered day. A cruise through the university around the future of Canada was had. Dodging each one as they were enamoured deep inside their phone had me seriously concerned for the future.

I hit Saskatchewan drive again and swore at some cars and soon found Foote Field only to realize they had a huge inflatable dome over top during the Winter. 'Huh... who knew...' I thought and was on my way.

To end, not a very exciting ride but a ride happened which counts. The shitbike is back kids so look out. Shit's going down...

Monday, April 17, 2017

A Doofus and His Fat Bike




With the ground conditions at home being quite snowy I used that as a barometer as to what bike to ride. Lots of snow equaled fat bike. "I'LL RIDE MULTI USE AND PAVED ON THE FAT BIKE! OH BOY! I exclaimed to my dogs watching me get ready for the ride. The white dog looked at me like I was an idiot.

Sadly, he's the dumb one in the family. He falls off the couch licking the patch where his balls used to be quite regularly.  And he knew better as to what bike to ride today.

Way to go Lonebiker.Way to go...

Nevertheless, it was a good ride today. Sadly hardly a trace of snow was had other than the mellow descent into Laurier Park. Well the melting snow mixed with mud did a number on the old sexy bright blue riding shorts. Laurier was it's usual self. Dog walkers and high school kids smoking pot ruled the roost. I high fived a group of them and sped away hoping they wern't running me down to steal my phone.

Could this finally be the last fat bike ride of the season? I'm not calling it on this here blog anymore.


traces of snow but wet gravel riding in mackinnon

potty break in an alley, heck ya

Friday, April 14, 2017

Bicyclette Miserables





Whatever it was I was thinking when I looked outside and saw the snow and instantly thought 'FatBike!' Was clearly not a well planned thought out train of thought. I knew it would be shitty out there but my brain would not let me think rationale.

Within one kilometre of this ride from Mill Creek pool I was soaked. The wet slushy snow was thrown up via the fat tires creating a cataclysm of cold wetness hitting my poor spring bike tights and soaking through.

Nothing was good today. From the multi use to the paved it was pure non stop grossness, sadly I was even dumb enough to try a small section of singletrack which was nothing but a small river for the  most part. So I walked it.

Once out of the ravine I had nowhere to go. I wanted to just turn around and head back to the Jeep but I figured I came all this way and even set the fat bike up by taking it out of season retirement. A huge mistake. Today was the absolute epitome of shit bike riding.

So I ended up downtown and rode by the Oilers arena. I felt I should give them a bit of good luck as they always seem to win when I go by there on a game night. So when they win tonight, you know who to thank.

Tracks were set to home and that is where the cold sunk in. It was a miserable. My 45North shoes were full of water. You could feel the water going back and forth with the motion of the pedal strokes.  The jacket was soaked right through. The camelback was even a ball of wet fabric, thankfully the camera stayed dry inside the wet cocoon.

This makes tomorrow a definite challenge to get out. How sad.

Not going to complain though. It's only April. What does one expect for weather in central Alberta?

potty break amongst the winter wonderland

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Shit Bike Rumblings





First ride since coming back and the conditions down in the valley are just what I thought they would be. Brown, muddy, and full of sandy pebbles (on the paved that is.) The shit bike was chosen for this one as expectations were low given the weather that has rolled through the Edmonton area as of late. The ride was met with a bit of angst. Mrs Lonebiker had surgery the day before and was home recovering. She insisted I ride but it was hard to get out.

From the start at shopping cart alley to the first big descent into Whitemud ravine followed by that horrendous climb out. Oh you know that climb. That what seems like 70% grade which goes around the corner to climb on top of the berm. The end berm climb looks harmless but once the initial climb is done and you come around the corner it is there quite simply to fuck up your shit.

Terwillegar's multi use was ridden and I hung my head in shame as I rode by the singletrack entrances only to see rutty tracks leading into them. Why guys are riding these muddy trails baffles me.

If this is you. Please stop. I'll forgive you.

But if you keep riding them.... Oh boy.

It was definitey not one to remember today. The shitbike was being ultra shitty. Bad sounds eminated from the drivetrain which reminded me of a shackled demon in a cold dark basement scraping its chains on the concrete floor.

Yes creepy, but thats what I got out of it. Hence earbuds were pushed deep in.

A ride through town ended the fun. I needed to get home to tend to Mrs Lonebiker.


these people are monsters

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Photo Dumpage












A return to town warrants a photo dump...

Monday, April 10, 2017

Beer Friday. Zywiec Breweries, Tatra Beer


Oh hey... It's Beer Friday yet again and this is either being posted at the end of three hard weeks or two hard weeks where deep down I'm happy I don't have to work a third. Either way once this one is hit with the "publish" button deep down I will be in a pretty good mood. The joy in coming home is something nobody has any experience in when they work out of town. What gets me is it's two or three weeks. I could not imagine what people in the military go through when home is just around the corner.

Tatra beer brewed by Zywiec brewery in Poland was something I was hoping would have been from India given the label and the place of purchase. An east Indian liquor store.

You see in my small little petty white man brain I was hoping this would have been a rare east Indian beer that I can try. Thoughts of enjoying it and running into the shop the next day telling everyone how I loved it and their east Indian culture would surly get me a free first class trip to India where Indian royalty and high up dignitaries would show me interesting things about the country.

Sadly if it were Indian beer and it were incredible I'd still be a fat white slob living in Beaumont Alberta.

Quite a sad reality really...

Welp... Here was the pour.

A golden traditional lager poured out of the can into our testing mug where a one and a half fingered head sat on top looking a bit confused and disheveled. 'What an odd way for a beer to behave' I thought to myself or was I overthinking things as I have been home for fourteen days with not enough bike rides to pass the time. I'm sure that is the answer.

The first sip was sadly a very ordinary boring lager. But yet one can ask... What does one get out of a lager? They want a clean refreshing clear beer that helps ease their mind after a hard working day. This beer has a watered down flavour. Malts that hit you and quickly dissipate making one wonder exactly what happened. Upon the last fragments of this one I uttered for more. Screamed at the beer God's for something a little more than what I was having and...

Nothing.

This beer gets 1.5 suds out of 5


Sunday, April 9, 2017

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Friday, April 7, 2017

Beer Friday. Hall & Woodhouse, Fursty Ferret


Well... Week two of camp life on this posting and I am only five days in on days off when writing this. It would seem the night shift has fucked with me bad and I cannot seem to get back on a proper day schedule. I am tired all the time which is sadly ruining my riding. Waking up at three and four am wide awake every morning does not help. I cannot get up and get ready for a bike ride as it will wake everyone in the house. I have already been told to quiet down my morning antics. Maybe a crime watch bike ride should be in order?

Nah... That's a dumb fucking idea.

I'll get on track. This was my first hitch back up on nights, hitch two should be a bit better as I know what is in store for me.

Well... Enough about me kids.

How are you guys doing huh?

Your significant others treating you all right? Come on guys. I care. Let me know will ya..

Getting out on lot's of bike rides? If so, good for you. Especially in the spring break up. This season is the worst time of year to ride a bike. I'm proud of you. The beer interns are proud of you. Way to go champs.

Hall & Woodhouse was founded in seventeen seventy seven. I'll type that again. 1777. Yes, that is pretty badass. This brewery is older than last weeks beer. Much older. Blandford St Mary is the home of this brewery. This one lives in the United Kingdom and I'm sure has quite a few stories to tell.

The pour went down like this. Our head pourer popped the cap and filled it into our trusty beer tasting mug and the beer responded by showing off a two and one index fingered head that stood atop a beer that was golden and dirty. Much like that of a Vegas dancer that had been out in the streets all night and now it was 5 am and she wanted to do was get some Denny's for breakfast.

The first sip was sadly a bit of a disappointment. As were the next few. For being such an old and legendary beer it wasn't special. I responded by punching one of the interns straight in the groin and wishing a car would fly off the road and crash into the den so I did not have to finish this. Well... It wasn't that bad. The taste is a bit malty and somewhat sweet but hard to pick up as it seems quite watered down.

A sad disappointment really.

This beer gets 1 sud out of 5






Thursday, April 6, 2017