Saturday, August 27, 2016

Seeking Selkirk








A Saturday off and it isn't raining? Say it isn't so? Well the clouds did look a bit grumpy as I looked outside whilst sipping my morning coffee cladded in a robe and my fuzzy Seahawks slippers. I was taking the Altitude and riding singletrack today and that was final.

Driving out to Old Timers there was a cool tinge in the air. Something felt just right about today. I arrived at the trailhead with the game face on, perched and ready to ride. Fuck me. I love Saturdays.

The plan today was to ride Selkirk. A new singletrack trail teasing us in a mini skirt since its inception this year. Only problem is, every time  we went to ride it the rain was being a bitch. Today I thought I had my opportunity and as I rode on time was slipping.  Family plans in the early afternoon had me racing the clock. I came on the southside riding Gnome and eventually focused on just getting to Selkirk once I noticed the time.

I rode Hawerlak and crossed into Laurier and eventually was at the Selkirk trailhead in the Fort Edmonton parking lot. The rain had started of course and I entered where I encountered switchback after switch back. It was ridiculous and I am a guy who has a weird love thing for switchbacks.

Switchback climb after switchback climb happened combined with the rain where front wheel slippage occurred a bit too frequently and I pulled the plug and went down to the paved below and rode back home. It was getting stupid.

For the first time on this trail it didn't have the flow that I like. Even for the ultra high conditioned rider which this trail calls for it would not flow too well and I'm all right with that. This is a trail that didn't exist before in an area left untouched. I don't know the first thing about building trails so I stand on no ground to bitch about it.

Selkirk won't be ridden on every passing through the area. That is a guarantee.

The ride ended uneventfully on paved and multi use as I scrambled back home in the light rain.

selkirk switchbacks with wet roots and steep inclines, man up bitch
its closed due to flooding but still rideable



Friday, August 26, 2016

Beer Friday. Arrogant Bastard Ale


Sorry about the inactivity on here kids. Been working to help pay for the new beer review lab we plan on building in Belgium next fall. Oh shit... Did you catch me lying? We aren't building a new lab. The CEO of lonebiker (that's me) is just working like a chump. With possibly two weeks left this could all be over soon. In short I threw away my Summer as there is still a lot of uncertainty in the future. So, milk that cow till that fat bitch is dry. Quite sad when you really think about it.

Well that just made me want to get to the pour and start drinking asap.

Nineteen Ninety Seven was the birth of Arrogant Bastard. An accident of sorts lead to the birth of this  beer. On their website they brag about it's strange taste. Most of all, what intrigues me is they warn people who don't like this to not flaunt their hateness for this beer. To the owners of Arrogant Bastard.  If I don't like this a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

I do have a pretty damn good feeling about this one though...

Let's pour shall we.

It was poured and a two fingered head was perched on top of a angry old man piss coloured liquid. Sorry to describe it like that I just had no other way. Despite the colour described, this one made me thirsty. I tipped it back and was hit with a very hoppy brew. Grapefruit, toffee, and pine needle are there to show your and your tastebud homies a damn good time. The hops are what hit you and it isn't shitty. This beer was the perfect way to end a work week. And at 7.2% it helped me forget I worked all Summer and didn't ride bikes.

This is awesome. Get it.

This beer gets 4.5 suds out of 5.




Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Rainy Day Tuesday

After getting rained out for the second straight day at work the desire to go for a rain soaked bike ride on multi use and paved trails was at an all time low. That's been done a bit too much this year. Although riding is still riding, I've been neglecting my camera.

Sorry kids. No bike ride, just some boring pictures as we cruised around the local country side in my Jeep.

Gasp...  What the hell? No train pics you ask as you spit out your green tea at your computer monitor!











Monday, August 22, 2016

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Please Don't

NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOO!!

Monday, August 15, 2016

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Spiritless, Lethargic, and Pissy


The title sums this one up. I swear I heard Strava laughing as it was uploaded. Do I really care? Nope. Work does that to a guy. The same tracks I made on Thursday only on a different ride. I got to the climb that takes you out of Terwillar towards those magnificent shiny balls and said "nope!"

Soon after I completely lost all energy. I had nothing to give and limped back avoiding all that sexy singletrack on a bike that would devour it. How sad.

With work again tomorrow the plan is to make up for this bullshit excuse of a ride afterwards.

lets turn this rig around...
singletrack so close, even the multi use was like wtf? 

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Post Work Quicke





Another rare post work ride on damp almost unrideable trails. The venue that hosted this fine fitting affair was the always close and reliable from work Terwillegar.

Much of the same as all the other Terwillegar post work rides. It started in Cameron Heights and went as far as the house drop. The trails were rideable but wet in areas. A few front wheeled mud slides happened and luckily I didn't die as I was travelling at quite the extreme rate of speed! *I'll pause now and let you have a laughter break...

Are we done yet? Jerks.

The best part about riding right at five o-clock is there is nobody down there. Slight traces of trail heroin arose but the slippery roots and puddles quenched the high a bit, albeit it added a bit of a different high I kind of liked. Am I onto a new drug?

a different perspective from house drop view

got rain? yes... yes we do...

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Sunday, August 7, 2016

It Should Be Called Singlecrack...





As in crack cocaine. Yes here I go again referring riding bikes out in the wondrous woods to some pretty hard drugs that ruin peoples lives but there really is no better feeling than railing down some singletrack on a fine bicycle. Nothing!

A return to the singletrack after what seemed like an eternity, the unicorn socks were worn as I knew this one would be pretty-super-hella-awesome-fucking-special. And pretty-super-hella-awesome-fucking-special it was.

Ride of the year for two-sixteen? I'd say yes. This will be a hard one to beat when I am looking at rides at the end of the year.

I had to slow the pace down after starting at Mill Creek pool and ending up in Old Timers Cabin as it felt as though my heart was going to explode into tiny shards of bike trail riding orgasms. I was too hopped up on the awesome feeling of riding singletrack that I had to pull over and have a small pep talk with myself and breath. It was pretty obvious it's been too long.

The singletrack was tacky, with wet puddles in places reminding you of the horrible rain we have had this Summer. The ride took me up Six Shooter where I descended down Machete to cross and head back via Mackinnon.

Mackinnon was sloppy and sexy. Just the way I like them. Mud puddles mixed with slippery roots made the ass pucker factor quite high. I'm pretty sure the Rocky Mountain laughed and called me a giant pussy. "I can handle this you little bitch!" I'm sure it said. And it did, it handled Mackinnon like a pro.

The bike called me a bitch and I made Mackinnon my bitch (although I think Strava tracking would say different.)

The ride ended and I was spent, I think I might have to call in sick tomorrow. This needs to happen again.

"hump me baby, hump me good and hard" *what i heard the trail saying
whenever i ride by this park i get a weird craving for some mcnuggets
whoever is responsible for this, you are awesome

Friday, August 5, 2016

Beer Friday. Borg Bruggh├║s, LeiFur NR 32


Enjoy this one kids, it might be the last for a little while. It's high Summer and all I can think of doing is working because I am a chump. A true Beer Friday after a good solid four day week. A weekend with not a lot of riding in the forecast awaits so the beer review team is here and are ready to pounce on this beauty from Iceland.

From Reykjavik, the heart and soul of most likely the greatest country in the world. That's right, suck Iceland's sexy tits America. This is what an awesome country is all about. Enjoy your Trump and Hillary and your dumpster fire of an election.

Oh wait... Forgot you had the NFL. I love you Merica.

We got right to the pour as a short but long work week took it's toll.

The pour gave us two huge heads that would have swallowed Kim Kardashian's big flabby ass. Eventually the head quickly dissipated into a more reasonable three fingered head which soon left. No lacing but all was good. Tastes of apricot, stale toffee, and citrus round out a strong beer that doesn't feel like a punk.

Yet this one is a punk, at 6.8% it's so easy drinking it will steal your pocket change once you are inebriated and passed out.

A short review but hell of a brew.

This beer gets 4 suds out of 5.

*edit. this is not a pokemon

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Monday, August 1, 2016

Clammy Day Tales





 Another shitty ass night full of rain brought on another multi use and paved ride. Only today I got to share the experience with Gord. He met up after riding from home and we started in Capilano. The trails are in a serious state of emergency as I would put it in the Lonebiker books. Heavy what looks like Winter riding fat bike ruts are in every downhill trail as the water rivered up and ran down during one of many heavy downpours we have had. Couldn't comment on the singletrack but from the entrances it looks quite sloppy.

It sucks out there.

Gord brought his cross bike making us look like the odd couple. A fine thing to ride in these times. Years like this makes me think of getting one but I still love riding the hardtail on the multi use and have no issue on the paved. Other than the loud obnoxious bottom bracket issues (I'm sure cause of all the rain) it has served well in these dank times.

The ride was the best of the weekend, finally hit the over 30km mark and not a lot of "meh's" were thrown out. The turn around point at the Talas dome was it's usual ceremonial self. Long shitty paved climbs were in the mix and Gord tried to lighten the mood by singing Metallica and getting yelled at by Edmonton police.


The ride took us close to Heritage days which reminded me why I don't go to Heritage days. Hundreds of people staggered about and around the sidewalks (and we weren't even close!)

The ride went solo once we were at Mill Creek, Gord took off and I threw the headphones in and rode the southside paved back to the Jeep.

rain, rain... go away
jasper ave traverse not as bad as once thought, the lower trails are untouched
more traverse for the masses, don't see the point of dumping the money here



Sunday, July 31, 2016

Mod Yard Detox. Part Two




Afternoon storms yesterday again made havoc of the trails yet again forcing another paved and multi use ride. The ride in Kaskitayo to Terwillegar this morning was much akin of yesterday and was a bit on the meh side. It took a lot of effort and self motivation to get out the door.

Once rolling the good feelings slowly crept in. This is a ride that has happened all too often this year and it doesn't seem to be getting old. From the deadly climb out that makes you hate life on the north side of Whitemud ravine to the sweet and fast rolling Terwillegar multi use.

The clouds had a menacing grin on them today as if to say "that's right bitch, we are going to fuck up your shit some more." I looked down at the pavement and kept spinning my cranks ignoring natures bullies.

What will tomorrow bring? The motivation is going to have to be super big to get out again.

signs of people riding this, please stay off

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Mod Yard Detox. Part One



After a long stretch of work a return to the trails happened on another wet day which makes this one of the worst summers for riding singletrack I think ever.

Yesterday I had hoped things would be somewhat dry but at two this morning ominous non stop eerie thunder accompanied by heavy rain had made it's presence strongly and I knew this morning would be multi use and paved.

The return to the trails was not memorable by any means. Usually the first rides after not riding are quite special but this one could be best described with a capital MEH. I blame the non stop rain as the last rides have all been the same. Multi use and paved as the rest is shit.

Yes, it's riding and it's awesome but we need our singletrack back.

The ride started in Mill Creek and once I saw the condition of the multi use I just stuck to paved. I am sick of treating my poor bike like shit rolling through sandy, muddy, wet bullshit. I ended up rolling down river valley road where I climbed up and did a menage a trois of bridge crossings with the High Level, Dudley B Menzies, and doomed Walterdale.

In the end, it was meh but still much better than working for twenty five straight days. The detox will continue tomorrow.

this area.... wow