Friday, September 15, 2017

Beer Friday. Omnipollo, Mazarin


Hope everyone's week was fine. We at Lonebiker industries are rolling into the first weekend up in the north for posting this but are writing this on our fourth day off. It was a fun filled family day which included a fire in my much beloved river valley. Yes that's right. It's all mine. Every square inch. From the paved to the sweet singletrack that makes my heart quiver with each pedal stroke. It's all mine. Well... You can have the Science Park and everything east of Wally. Those three downhills though, are all mine. Bah ha ha ha! *This was all written whilst scratching my white dog who sat patiently on my lap cause I'm one evil son of a bitch.

What do I have against the Science Park anyways? Here is hoping I don't receive another angry email from the president of some local bike club cause I was voicing my opinion.

"HEY.... KEN! YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO DROP IT, NOW FUCKIN DROP IT AND MOVE ON!"

All right.. All right.. Still just happened. Why you gotta type in all upper case like some douche anyways?

Omnipollo brewery located in Sweden was created in two thousand and eleven by a couple of the coolest dudes probably currently walking the earth. These guys probably have the coolest gig going. They get their beer recipes done and then travel the world to different breweries to make their ales.

Sweet Mother of all things that are singletrack holy! Did you just read that? I could not imagine...

The beer poured a dark dirty yellow like any other angry pale ale should look like. Although not sure if beer pourer's fault a head that took up almost the entire bottle formed. I fired the pourer anyway and we waited for the head to dissipate so we could pour the rest and get some pics in. The first taste was a bit of a surprise as I was expecting a hoppy beer and nothing was there. Some more sips and more of the same. It was a fine beer. Crisp and refreshing but for pale ale it didn't have the qualities that makes one a true pale ale. White bread and lemon seem to round out the rest. Before I end this let me remind you that I am still a novice reviewer. Are American Pale Ales not supposed to taste hoppy? This one still is good though.

This beer gets 3 suds out of 5.


Sunday, September 10, 2017

Tire Burps and Lame Excuses





A planned pre Seahawk bike ride from Mill Creek to the UofA where an attempt at clearing Masters Degree was to be had. Could it have been the mountain of doubt in my head of taking on the steep climbing switchbacks that spread to my bike?

Mill Creek singletrack was all prime. A trip through Skyline was had for the first time I believe this year. With many warnings of the area falling into the river I obeyed and stayed away. Until today. The verdict. It is in the best condition I have ever seen. After reading reports of the trail completely decimated I could not help but think social media should just go away forever.  That being said, if you read this and fall off the trail and end up dead or paralized please don't blame me. There is potential for the area to slide into the river too so enter at your own risk, and please use common sense.

Gnome trail was hit after where my rear tire burped and was filled. I lost more air and it burped again where I killed the last C0-2 cartridge. That was the end of the ride as I didn't want to walk the bike home. Paved trails took me back.

A potential meet-up with Kent and another good fella who were on recovery rides from a big day yesterday never really happened all thanks to my poor personality issues. We did meet on my way back after the tire burps where I was offered to ride with them as they had C0-2 cartridges and pumps. I declined (see first sentence of this paragraph.) My brain had the ride shut down as I was thinking of football and work. Although Billy? Is it Billy? Bill? Sheeeit! Will call him William. Willy?

Whatever... seemed like a good solid guy so who knows. maybe a ride meet-up on next set home.

An attempt will probably happen tomorrow if all the right cards come into play. It will be a short ride, gasp! Shorter than this? It is work travel day so...

waiting for a brethren member 

Friday, September 8, 2017

Part Alone, Part Brethren








Could this be the last bigger ride for this set of days home? When I say 'bigger' ride be reminded I am referring to Lonebiker 2017 version 2.0. Anything on lots of singletrack over 25km is a long ride now. Paved, multi use must be over 55km. A chart the executives and interns came up with and completely left me out of it.

Bigger ride? How about last ride? With a return to nights back North I am leaving a day early which leaves things a bit panicked as the thought of leaving my family to go riding when I could be spending it with them is much more important.

Yes, I get it. You don't want to hear sappy shit which is why we are moving on to the ride where I met up with Kent. A brethren member and all around good guy.

The ride started in Old Timers all by myself. Kent had a couple hours yet to get to the trailhead. so I would ride than we would meet up somewhere along the route.

High Kinseman and Masters Degree was ridden. I think it was my fourth or fifth attempt on it and had always had it held in my head as too much climbing and not enough flow. That all changed today as I found the climbs somewhat do-able. With my treadless tires combined with poor fitness I was no match but seeing the hills today I knew they were all good to ride up if you were prepared. The switchbacks look bad but are all rideable if you pick the right lines. My tires spun out on the climbing switchbacks which was no surprise. I can only assume on a 29er this trail would be all that more difficult and sketchy with the off camber exposed singletrack. That and getting going on a 29" bike is all that more harder. It's thought like this that will keep me glued to a 650B for a long time.

Today was the most I had ridden on Masters and I was happy. I hope to come back with the hardtail before I leave as I'm pretty sure it will be easier. Smaller wheels, and tires with tread! Tires with tread? Say no more! A non foot dab roll through will probably make me a very happy person.

After Masters I rolled up Six Shooter and down Machete where I had an awkward descent down. Wrong lines were chosen and awkward corners owned me.

Eventually Flat Pete was ridden and I sat on Terwillegar bridge and contemplated life. I started to head back to meet up with Kent and took the easy trails to Laurier where we met on the Hawerlak bridge right smack in the middle. Our front tires connected and the Snowbirds flew over followed by a drum solo by Metallica's Lars Ulrich.

We headed back into Laurier and rode up to Mackinnon where rooty, sexy goodness was welcomed by my long travel Rocky Mountain bike. It was awesome. Kent was long gone on his newish ride. A bike that would have been featured here but we never got out for a ride.

My legs were done and Kent had a huge day tomorrow so we went down River Valley Road and than suffered some more as we climbed up Walterdale hill to the city of Edmonton archive building and rode the singletrack there. Old Timers was ridden along the ridge after a fight to climb up (by yours truly) and the skinny bridge was navigated with grace by both of us. It's nice to see the trees are still there that want to throw you off the bridge. I hope they stay.

Poutine and no beer ended the ride. Having no beer was sad but the poutine made up for it.

oh look, another beach that's been there for a long time. stay away facebook! stay far far away



Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Viva La Beaumont, Bitches!





Could there be anything better about this town? It's all full of whitey's just trying to get by, driving Escalades and listening to that awesome country music the kids call 'Pop country.' Wearing Albercombie and Fitch polo t- shirts tucked into their Docker shorts. Wait a minute, I think I just described Sherwood Park and St Albert. Beaumont is probably the third runner up in the white-man land dominatrix.

Oh geez... I think I just insulted another group of people on here in just under a week. First it was the 'alleged' trail builders. Then the people who inhabit Edmonton's accidental beach. Now it is the communities that are on the outskirts of Edmonton.

But the third one is ok cause I live here. I'm right about the whites. This place is a white paradise. With a private golf course and now a high end and absolutely delicious restaurant (Chartier.) Lots of nice houses with nice back yards to hide in because white people fuckin love that shit too!

The ride shouldn't have happened. Yesterday I announced I took a quick job which will shut down the blog for a couple days and I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness coming from the back reaches of my computer. Hell, the back reaches of the internet. I imagined all of you sitting in your 'I love Lonebiker' sweaters that your Mom knitted for you a couple of christmas's ago, sad and forlorn watching some dumb tv show about a family of hill billies hunting varmot in Texas.

A tear ran down my cheek.

'I must ride for them' I thought, so bravely putting down a welding helmet after taking a spark to the chest.

So I rode. Truth be told, Beaumont has some pretty good paths for families and dog walkers. Mine get out as much as we can between me and Mrs lonebiker. All in all, a pretty good town. Despite some very odd political decisions.

And Chartier. Damn... You must go there my friends. I'll be there tomorrow night with Mrs Lonebiker celebrating my two day work week on days off. Come say hi. Good luck with no reservation though...


oh my god! it's the beaumont bandits! (shreek!)
oh we got disc golf here!
beaumont puts the street benches the wrong way, cause go fuck yourself, that's why!

Monday, September 4, 2017

TOA Fanboy Following, and Death from Allergies



A ride where I knew things would most likely turn to suck very fast and it did. A bout of allergies has come and bitch slapped me on the side of the face quite hard. That or it's the lost souls of the sections of singletrack being cut out to make them easier coming to haunt me.

What? Too soon?

A potential meet up with Gord didn't happen. A man who destroyed everything in his path in the river valley and he happily kept me updated with texts on his progress. Reading his texts were more fun than the actual riding I was doing today.

A quick meet and high five with Kent went down too but no riding took place. He met up with a couple other people and me being me, well..

Truth be told I would have ridden with them if my condition wasn't so bad. My legs had nothing and my sinuses had kept things quite miserable.

I ended up riding sections of the Tour of Alberta before the race started and nobody said a damn thing. Eventually one of the marshals yelled at me "no bikes! This is roped off for a bike race!" I was too confused as to what he meant I had nothing to say and just stared at him as I rolled by. He was frantically waving his arms. The race was starting in an hour. I thought I was ok.

I did pull off and watched some of the teams ride by on a pre-ride of the course. 'Well, ok. Maybe I didn't belong on there.' I thought.

I didn't hang around much when the race was going. I could have rode around and watched it in other areas and got some more pics but truth be told. I wasn't into it. Gord's damn text messages were all the rage.

With a little job picked up in Nisku the next couple days we may be going back into camp mode until Thursday. Hope by then I'm solid and ready to ride some more before I'm gone again.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Pussification of Trails (A Follow Up)

The post on my first full day back could be described as a bit controversial. What normally happens before I post something, I do a quick read to check for errors (yes, still a lot get missed) hit publish and then forget about it till the next day. I will wake up the next day with my french press coffee in bed also known as 'The Golden hour' and read Lonebiker or try to read it as an outsider.

Not sure if that makes sense.

Some text messages from some brethren members asking why I was so grumpy on my phone made me go straight to the iPad and read the post in the morning.

Yes. I may have gone a little too far in regards to the name calling in whom may be responsible for these drastic changes to fun and challenging parts of the trail. For that if the one reading this is responsible I apologize. Quite immature from my side and reading that post over again is a bit embarrassing and I know I am a much better person than that but sadly stooped to a pretty big low.

Seeing the life the post has taken on is why I am doing a follow up. The blog posting hits it has gotten is quite huge which tells me that people are emailing it to one another. That is a bit disconcerting.

This is not how I want Lonebiker to be viewed. I've always thought of it as ones take on riding in the Edmonton river valley. Pictures and hopefully some good writing would compliment each bike ride and hopefully promote riding in Edmonton.

Well truth be told, I started this Lonebiker thing just for me. It is a ride diary that has grown quite a bit since it was started.

All this being said, I am still strongly against these changes to challenging sections of the trails that is happening. I also know that most mountain bikers in the Edmonton area would stand with me on this one.

I did get a rather disturbing email from someone whom I believe is affiliated with one of Edmonton's Mountain bike associations. Pure speculation on my side. 

This email made the bad vibes in The Pussification Trail Saboteurs post seem like an innocent kindergarten poem. I was going to post the email on here but have decided against it. Other people who have read this email could not believe the vulgarity combined with hate and spite that was thrown my way. All in response to a ride post where I complained (loudly and perhaps distastefully) about a trail change.

I was accused of:

Having no idea what mountain bike associations do.

Never stopping my bike to clear garbage or debris on a trail. Or any sort of trail work.

I am clueless about what goes on in the Edmonton bike community.

'I am one of those guys that ride and than just fucking bitch' (in emailers words.)

I was then told he can outride me on technical trail into the fucking ground (again, emailers words.) I'm sure he can, and good for him. To me that's not what mountain biking is all about. 

As far as me, Lonebiker and the many mountain bike associations. I have great respect for them. Without them promoting mountain biking in Edmonton it would be a whole lot more boring riding here. They do hours and hours of volunteer work whether on trails or working with the city and promoting more bike access. Whether an association or a trail fairy is behind the trail pussification changes (as I call it) is up to them. They have their reasoning which I will disagree with. Yet, if they are re-working old trails and opening up kilometres of great new singletrack. I will take the good with the bad with a smile on my face at the end of the day. 

What All these associations should understand though is there will always be critics. No matter what they do people will talk and either approve or disapprove as to what happens to trails in the river valley. I have a blog so my voice is a little louder than the rest.

 I love progression but if there is more dumbing down of hard trails I will speak about it on here so please don't be offended. I'm not saying who it is doing it but after that email I received a lot of the fingers point their way. I always thought it was trail runners changing these sections of trail and it could be.

As far as the author of the email, Dude! relax, retire from Your association and enjoy life. I know that your attitude is not what Edmonton mountain bike culture represents and it was very disappointing to see this come from an organization that I have lots of respect for.  I was always thinking the president of Costco was going to send me a hateful email. Not from someone in our own bike community.

Anyways... Cheers kids. The traffic I am getting on here is at an all time high and I thank you! 

Comments are now open again as long as not too many of you lavish in telling me how big of a dick you think I am. Or someones Mother doesn't start commenting.


Friday, September 1, 2017

Wasted Cadence



A ride that shouldn't even be posted but we were 2 over Lonebikers 8 kilometre posting rule. That, and there's pics.

I did plead with the executives about this one and they threatened me with a proper curb stomping outside my house while my family watched. Those executives can be downright ruthless at times.

So here we go...

A pep talk in the bathroom mirror to motivate me to get out the door somehow worked. Yard work and grown up man bullshit were what really helped push me out the door. I mean... Who wants to do that shit on days off right? Guess that's why I had kids.

The ride from Capilano took me on the multi use across the river to Jasper Traverse where I had zero ambition to climb so I stayed low until some stairs took me up. That area was pretty much the only singletrack ridden which is quite pathetic on such a fine day. It would have been an awesome day but my sad Fort Mac body said no.

A return on the lower multi use trails on the south side where all the fine trails were avoided was had. I took the long loop paved climb back into Capilano which probably pushed me over the 8km posting mark.

That was a dumb move now was it?
some of the things you run into when riding in edmonton's seedy underbelly

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Edmonton Has a Secret Beach?





A ride from Old Timers through some of Edmonton's finest trails where I realized I didn't have my wallet on me and panicked a bit. A text that came up negative from my daughters made me head back to the Jeep and check.  A quick phone call and I knew where it was so I could relax and I was off again.

I went east on the low trails riding through Bird House Trail first after reading about all the increased foot traffic since the local news twits with plastic hair put it out there and it then made its rounds to social media and now we have.. Well...

Pure madness.

I read about the warnings of heavy amounts of people all seeming lost and confused wandering the trails bewildered as to where this beach is. This morning things should have been quiet but there were people anyways. I was nice but could only imagine how bad it would be on a sunny Saturday.

That right there sent daydreams of me opening up the dam upstream. Laughing maniacally as I released the water. 'Hey asshole! Theres kids and families on that beach! Kenneth! No!'

Oh shit, your right.

Man I'm glad when my subconscious voice kicks in. I could have looked like a real asshole.

The bad thing about this is with this bridge construction, it will be hard to avoid the bullshit when heading east from anywhere past Mill Creek. Bird House will be ridden and I will get grumpy and say the wrong thing once someone gives me attitude for riding a mountain bike on a designated mountain bike trail.

Kids... I will not be very nice.

Anyways, that's enough of the grumpiness for the second straight day. The ride ended after lower and mid Ewok and a roll through Mill Creek.

I just don't understand people. That little stretch of land was there forever and now social media got ahold of it and destroyed the area.

Lets hope this fad ends soon and things return to normal down there.

the sheep herding mentality of people completely fascinates me

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Pussification Trail Saboteurs Strike Again




What a great way to ruin the first ride back from the north. A ride started in Kinseman where quickly inside one of my favourite short little singletrack sections going back years ago was ruined by people who don't know how to properly ride mountain bikes.

oh no a root! cut it out and close the trail in the interim! 
The section heading west from Kinseman has the entrance right after the multi use climb up. It was a short little singletrack section that had a challenging ass puckering section, especially when going the other way trying to climb it. The trail connects to 'Along the Fence' trail close to the U of A. A bridge was built recently connecting the two and I can only assume the ones responsible for the bridge are responsible for the utter bullshit they left behind.

It was once a fun challenging trail that now my wife can probably ride. Ladies, Gents, I don't want her riding with me! Not a sexist thing in any matter, she just never rode bikes so please don't be offended.

This has happened in Terwillegar-Firemans, mackinnon-Backbreaker (why do they still call it backbreaker?)  Terwillegar- Go Trail and countless other trails where some no talent riding douchebag decided to fuck with the trail to make it easy for him or her.

Newsflash to loser doing this:

Mountain biking is hard.

Mountain biking is supposed to be hard.

That's why it is awesome.

There are other disciplines of riding one can take if they don't like riding on trails and are scared they will fall and possibly get a scratch. Just be forewarned. Any sort of bicycle riding can cause injury.

I fear the day these ballsless knuckle draggers discover Selkirk or make a trip to Fort Saskatchewan.

In the end, it took me a long time to calm down from what I saw to start the ride.

Seriously, let's stop this trail killing madness.

Prelude Link to this post. Please have a look.


whoever did this. if reading, please stick your head into a car door and slam repeatedly until the ringing stops

Monday, August 28, 2017

Beer Friday. Ballast Point, Sculpin IPA


Beer Friday reserve number three, this is the one that counts kids cause Im going home!

A rather uneventful day writing this as I sat and rested my legs as a trip to Jasper tomorrow with Jason should be happening. The thought of bears and bad crashes causing bone sticking out of skin
 injuries always seem to run through my mind the day before a trip and I don't know why.

Hell... Do I even trust Jason? How easy would it be to hit me over the head with a sickle when I'm not looking and ride back to tell people I got ravaged by an Elk?

Oh man... Now I'm really nervous.

This brewery hails from well... I'm not sure where the main brewery is, I'm assuming southern California. They have seven locations across America. It was started by two college guys who started brewing beer in their apartment while attending UCLA. A classic college situation yet these guys weren't douchebags and took it serious. In 1992 Jack White (not the celebrity) opened a home brewing store which turned into the brewery we see today.

Their award winning India Pale Ale, Sculpin is named after a fish that is quite the odd looker. Of course Americans are big into them as they have an affinity for weird fish. All of Ballast Point's beers have some sort of fishing picture and the brew is named after a fishing term on their labels as it is their passion. And that my friends is a-ok with me.

We poured and it showed a great looking IPA that had a one and a half fingered head. Golden beer that reflected in the beer lab had everyone's mouths agape. We tasted and it gave us one of the more incredible IPA's that had passed through the testing grounds. Moderate mouthfeel with a slight taste of hoppiness which turns your mouth quickly into happiness. Grapefruit and lemon seem to round out the taste of this one. Overall. An incredible IPA from some fine folks in USA.

This beer gets 4 suds out of 5.