Monday, February 18, 2019

Winter Trail Euphoria




A ride in the Eastern side of the valley for a change and it ended up being the best ride of the year so far. Shitty conditions were prevailent especially on Hustler (tee he he.) Why do I love the fact that this trail shares the name of a smut magazine? Is it the tradesman in me? Hell ya kids!

It was short and started with a wipe out all thanks to the sugar snow brought on by the shitty cold we have been living with. Was it MoonRaker? Fuck me, I can’t keep up with the trail names. I should be a good ambassador to the valley and get my shit sorted out. Hold on a second...

Hell ya! It was MoonRaker! Man I’m awesome to know that right?

Guys....?

GoldDigger was out of this world amazing. Lot’s of traffic on the ski trails so I behaved and showed them respect and yielded. Followed by a friendly wave. I hope you all do the same. They were there first after all and if they are grumpy like me they probably don’t like the new intruders. Well that trail has been there for a while now so I’m sure they are used to us now.

Hustler was tackled and the thought of bailing came across my mind several times. Not much traffic and loose snow made the punchy climbs quite a challenge. I did take one for the team and rode it to help pack down the trail somewhat.

Wow. Listen to me gloat on here...

The short 8 km ride ended after MoonRaker again where I took Sideline back to the Jeep. Amazing conditions on this amazing trail ended a great day. It’s a travel work day tomorrow but the temptations to ride in the morning will be strong after todays amazing singletrack orgasms.



the loose snow on hustler, quite aggravating at times.. 

Saturday, February 16, 2019

More Trail Pussification, Frozen Face and a Kickass Dog Named Rü



A meet up with Kent and his new buddy. A soon to be full out trail dog named Rü. The ride was planned on being a shorter one and it lived up to the hype. The cold weather is starting to wear us down, not gonna lie. On top of that I had shaved a glorious beard that would have made any mountain man proud of my bearded locks. I have to do it for work sadly. Fort Mcmurray is calling again.

We started from his place and dropped into Firemans. That is where we saw just what kind of ride this was going to be. Sugary loose snow that was unpacked from lack of traffic threw us around in a very annoying fashion.

The steeps were taken very precariously and I ended up walking down the big one. I'm sure if I still had a beard I would have ridden it, sadly like Samson from the bible I'm just not the same person once shaved. Kent rode it of course with Rü in close quarters. Was there ever any doubt?

We rode Logawhatever the fuck it's called, ten times a better trail in the Winter and then Flat Pete. The pace was slow with glasses fogging up and the trail disappearing causing a few run offs. We hit the famous dip and I remarked on the number of spots it looked like people had trouble from what the snow was telling me.

That's when Kent told me about the new cheat line. "Say what!?" I bellowed back.

People have built a trail to avoid the small switchback (is it even a switchback?) and dip that made the trail famous. Not a huge deal cause the original trail is still there but I was irritated quite badly. I really hope this isn't the work of mountain bikers. Flat Pete is not a hard trail in the slightest degree and it is too much for some. Sad...

The ride ended after BDSM and the multi use back up to the top. Wait a second... How has BDSM retained it's name in these ultra pussified sensitive times?

The world needs more Kent's. The world need more Rü. The world needs less social media.


this shit right here drives me mad, original trail to the left, ultra pussies to the right, was happy to see
not a lot of bike tracks on the pussified way.


Friday, February 15, 2019

Beer Friday. Endeavour Brewing, Sudden Draft IPA


Endeavour Brewing. A local homegrown brew from St. Albert, Alberta. Easily the nicest little area in the Edmonton region. St Albert is the one place you can drive to in the summer where you will feel like you are a long ways away. From it's amazing parks and vibe. If you are visiting in the Summer I advise you to go and check out the farmers market. It's a white people paradise. The bike situation? Never ridden and doesn't look too great but you have the Edmonton river valley right next door so what is there to lose?

You reading this Beaumont? That's right, you suck!

This brew is part of a six pack that was gifted from family. All six are local brews which was a hell of an idea. In fact I am standing at attention in front of the computer and applauding at this very moment. Godspeed Sheri's sister... Godspeed.

Or was it her husbands idea?

Damn it!

I should pay more attention to these things.

The pour gave a nice two fingered head that was reduced to one finger after a few minutes and the froth stayed. It wanted to hang on like a desperate rock groupie waiting for the band in the back alley, even though the band left hours ago. Seriously? What is with the head on this one... Quite spectacular. We finally had a sip and the first thought was this one is clean, fresh and riddled with summer flavour. So why am I drinking this on the downside of one of the longest cold snaps we have had in Alberta? That's right, I gotta fire some more interns and maybe a couple executives.

A few more sips were had and this one delivered strong. A strong citrus smell emanates from the glass making one dream of summer barbecues and post ride beer infused bike cleanings.

More tastes of citrus and a slight touch of hops. The mouthfeel is very easy going and once down you want some more. This one is very easy to drink which could spell trouble. At 6.7% you might end up in the back alley with your pants undone. So that means ya snowflakes take it easy with this one!

This beer gets 4 suds out of 5.  





Thursday, February 14, 2019

Sugar Snow and Unridden Trails



A ride from Old Timers to Gnome and back to Blue Man for a return to Mill Creek in style.

The return to Mill Creek was for a search for a missing skewer part that drastically helps in the cold with my back tire being off. With the tire on, my rear window of the Jeep is open and the bike sticks out. In the end, the part was never found. I knew it was like searching for Waldo at a barber shop sweater convention (ok, wait.. what!?)

My own fault. Typical of me cause its something that should have been fixed months ago. I blame work but in the end I am a terrible procrastinator.

The ride started out good but quickly went to meh. Gnome trail was a letdown as the tracks were not there from fellow riders. The snow was sugary and shitty making it a struggle. Once off I decided to double back and hit Mill Creek in the off chance my skewer part was there somewhere in the snow from yesterday. I had intended to ride West Coast and duck up into Mill Creek but again. Lack of riders packing down trails made things look quite shitty.

'W.T.F... '  A thought that stuck in my mind knowing there are tons of people who ride fat bikes in the area, even in the cold which I avoided last set off. Are people sheep and only follow other tracks? Maybe, but I avoided West Coast at the cost of my poor lack of riding fitness. So I complain but I am one too.

Blue Man group was the same situation. Nothing but footprints and no fat bike or any sign of a bike whatsoever. I made it down unscathed and rode the paved to the 76th ave crossing and turned back taking the singletrack back.

That is where the magic happened on Earthshaker and The Trap (both heavily ridden trails) and my out of body experiences came into full effect. Cannabis is legal in Canada now you say? Fuck cannabis. Ride bikes. It's much more fun.

In the end. An amazing ride. Just wish I could figure out why nobody is riding those other amazing trails...


Wednesday, February 13, 2019

A Ride... Finally





Greetings friends, colleagues, blog readers, porn stars and that cool kid down the block who didn't talk to me. For those who are reading this, Hi Mom.

Been a while since I posted anything significant and I apologize. The weather and a lack of urgency to ride or do anything blog related has been a heavy issue.


So we have today. A day I booked off early to start my days off. I had committed to MillCreek a couple days prior and I actually made it. The ride stayed in my favourite little ravine for the short duration and it was everything I loved about winter riding all wrapped into a little gift basket except for the overbearing cold of course.

The trees smiled and danced as I rode by.

Not a soul was seen in the ravine and I would not have it any other way.

The crunching sugary snow that took control of my tires from the cold even made me happy.

A short but perfect bike ride today. Lets shoot for another one shall we kids?

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Friday, February 8, 2019

Monday, February 4, 2019

Happy Monday

Sorry for the lack of content kids.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Monday, January 21, 2019

Sugar Snow


Another long wait in the parking lot as I fought it over in my head. I had the perfect excuse which I would have told nobody but myself which would have made me feel all better. You know.. So I could live with myself later in the day.

I did make it on to the trail which prompted all the Lonebiker interns to show up and start preparing the blog for the ride post that would follow the bike ride. You know, downloading megabytes, setting up a good proxy for space communication. That kind of shit. Computer stuff kids. It's complicated.

The ride from Kinseman to the Quesnel had good singletrack intentions but riding the loose sugar that they called snow was quite messy. It got real bad on Six Shooter where there was little to no traction. I lowered my psi on the tires but it didn't seem to make a difference. I had intended to ride Machete and Raven but given the trail conditions I stayed away. Lack of riding and lack of confidence were the factors in that move. I'm sure the trails are fine in those areas so use your best judgement.

I looped over the Quesnel after ignoring the shiny balls probably for the first time ever. Laurier and some crazy dog walking bitches from hell took me home. Thank you Lord for headphones cause they did their jobs quite well today.


Saturday, January 19, 2019

Slow and Cold




The Two thousand and nineteen ride season got off to a start finally on a rather short and pathetic ride in the Old Timers area. The motivation to ride right now is at an all time low and getting out was a miracle in itself. Listening to Joe Rogan interview a motivational speaker ex U.S Navy Seal should have been enough cannon fodder to get me out in the cold but I sat in the parking lot coming up with a myriad of excuses to just go home.

Luckily I have Instagram and I typed in "fitness motivation" on the search bar and soon I was overwhelmed with douchebag, drugged up millenials at the gym posting ass shots in front of the mirror.

That was all the motivation I needed to ride today and I was soon on my bike ripping those trails! Thanks to all the fitness motivation posters of Instagram. You really are changing the world.

Trails are fine. Some slick spots which catch you by surprise but nothing too sketchy. Fresh snow was de-virginized by my big tires which was the highlight of the day. The bike was top notch after I successfully bled my brakes after a few pathetically failed attempts.

The ride was under the Lonebiker 8km minimum but seeing the lack of activity on here, I had too. Besides, there is nothing like breaking fresh snow on a fatbike kids!

Friday, January 18, 2019

Beer Friday. Wild Rose Brewery. WR 4 Oat Pale Ale


Oh hey... How are ya? It's been a rather frustrating start to the days off as I had two rides where the towel was thrown in due to not being quite prepared. Today was a classic case of not caring as I drove all the way to Old Timers to start a ride and realized my tire was beyond low and had nothing to fill it so I could have been on my way. What's that you say? Why didn't you go to Hardcore and get it filled up there? I could of, the issue is I just didn't care about riding and this attitude is becoming more concerning.

Blame my work as I am now out of town quite a bit and when gone riding bikes and living large is far from my mind. When I do get home there are other more important things to take care of and sadly riding gets kicked to the curb.

Is the end near for riding? Hell no, I will never stop. Sadly I will be out a lot less, which was the theme last year and I know that trend will only continue. I have an incredibly good job in very hard times in the best province in the country. Which coming from one in the trades I know how lucky I am.

This is why we have Wild Rose brewing from Calgary this review. A good local craft beer brewer in the province. Their WR 4 Pale Ale which is adorned with the Alberta flag makes me cry whenever I look at it. I love Alberta more than life, Sadly it has a bad reputation in due to a number of redneck hillbilly sheep fuckers that reside here.

When we opened this beer Ian Tyson's 'Springtime in Alberta' started playing and we all cried and held each other.

Alberta is hurting right now. She will get back on her feet soon kids.

We poured and a light but dirty beer showed itself capped with a good solid four fingered head that would not leave no matter how much coaxing we tried. I even offered it a free membership to the Lonebiker Ride of the month club and it didn't budge. A fruity citrus door was strong and it made me wonder if I should use this to clean the dash of my Jeep. This one smelled delicious!

The first sip was as expected. quite full of citrus amongst other flavours. A creamy and rich taste once you get past that head that will not go away. That is seriously one determined beer froth! Other notes include lemon peel, grapefruit and anything else remotely citrus. This one is very good. Go get some, it would be perfect for a fine summer barbecue (then again, what beer wouldn't?)

This one does scream summer barbecue. I know it's January.

This beer gets 4 suds out of 5.




Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Friday, January 4, 2019

Beer Friday. Granville Island, Mocha Porter


The first Beer Friday of a new year always makes one a happy contempt person. That is the ones who are into the blogging beer reviews. So how about the ones that are into the bike riding and post bike ride blogging? That shit won't be happening. Home from work and facing a slight touch of the flu has things in dire circumstances. With a possible early return to work this short week home will most likely be bikeless.  Which honestly is pretty depressing to think of. Thank God there is beer.

Too sick to ride but good enough to review beer. I guess things could be worse. Granville Island has been on here in the past. This British Columbia brewery has been in operation since nineteen eighty four. The same time I had discovered Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island. A perfect women who does it all and has the charming personality to make an eight year old Lonebikers heart flutter. Not like that bitch Ginger!

We poured and a little bit too much head formed on a dark American Porter. It wasn't the beer it was the pour that was at fault. I quickly performed a roundhouse kick to the one responsible and he left the room and made straight for the hospital. The head stood on top of this one for some time making me nervous. Slowly it whittled down and a first sip was had. The alcohol seemed to warm you up the way a puppy does when it wants to sleep on you on the couch. Definitely strong coffee is in the taste as well, dark chocolate and anything else that is good and dark. This is an easy drinking beer that one would want on a January night while reading a novel and eating leftover Christmas snacks.

This beer gets 3.5 suds out of 5.