Saturday, October 1, 2022

Nightime Siege on the Great Coloniale

An unexpected ride in the middle of a night set rotation where so far I have only worked four hours. Some extreme drama as one might say its happening which is keeping my attention elsewhere. 

On the good side of things a bike ride emerged. Yes it was local and barely creeped over ten kilometres but it was still a bike ride damnit.

I was in the dark streets wearing black with black shorts and black helmet to top it off. 

God I am an idiot.

So I stayed on the back paths and side streets riding in what I called 'ultra defensive maneuver' when on a road and hugging the curb where normally I stick out a little bit. Parked cars were passed with a backside check as I was still wearing headphones listening to my lady Lana. 

Yes I know… Literal all black except for my chump white skin and now you all know, headphones to block out the sound of oncoming vehicles. 

Oh Lord. Award me a Darwin Award right now. 

The badassery moment of the short 35 minute ride? Was finally invading Beaumont's finest golf course the great Coliniale. The jewel of Beaumont. For years their signs alongside a road I frequent have 'No Trespassing' on them. The most annoying sign that makes me want to trespass anywhere is when one puts 'Smile, you're on camera' signs up. 

So I trespassed through Coloniale Golf course in the dark on my bike. 

Ya.. you think William Wallace was a badass?  

I followed the fence until there was none and entered the great Coloniale golf course on its service roads  and rolled through in defiance of their great laws. I exited swiftly into Coloniale Estates sans security fencing quickly wondering about the lack of fencing and security and remembered.

Oh yes Beaumont.

I guess that is a good thing. 

So anyways, it was kind of a bleh ride in the end but had its cool but sadly unmemorable moments. 

aka, enter for the best part of your short night ride, it was pretty great 

the best damn area in the beau for the current lonebiker for fun on a bike. a high speed run through the sobeys parking lot and then zip up the little hill. hell yes beaumont, hell yes. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Fort Saskatchewan Fun Ender

Today was a day to take it easier on the legs so I rode the fine trails of Fort Saskatchewan for a quick 12 km rip. It is usually about 17 but the dreaded bridge construction is non ending and for once they had workers there so I didn't want to be a dickwad and ride through. Although by the looks of the workers none of them would have cared

A good ride where I had more in me than I thought after a longer one yesterday. Yes it was thirty km so snicker away ya dicks. 

A good ride but too many foot put downs and quick hike a bike up steep sections for my liking. Other than a few of those it was pretty great. Although I was a bit frustrated at walking up steeps I have never walked up before. 

I cried for a good twenty minutes at the new paved walkway with boardwalk/deck or whatever the fuck that is and felt better.

I tried the newish Middlestone trail and although it incorporated the old loop (or so I believe) it was kind of meh in relation to the old stand by trails in that area. I have been in a bit of a tizzy lately so maybe I wasn't thinking too clearly. I do think it would be way better in the Winter though on some orange fat sexiness if you know what I mean...

A quiet day ended a good day and sadly end of day shift days off. Nights are looming strongly. 

a new line cut to avoid the steep descent and ascent on the north east side trails, why? 

newish trail. sure i have been here before but i prefer the old school trails

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

Waist deep in Mill Creek

Pretty decent ride on a pretty decent day. I do have to cut things short on the write up due to things going on here.

One of the interns had his chest hair catch on fire from the company deep fryer. 

Yes, that is what happened… 

A Mill creek waist deep dip was my turn around point riding the Trap and quickly exiting stage right. The ride originated in the Science Park at Sunridge ski hill amongst scores of old men sitting creepily in their vehicles. Longer ride in a long time hitting the 30km mark. Yes I hear you snickering and I don't care. 

Sunday, September 25, 2022


 A local ride after a slothful day thanks in part to football being on. I stuck mainly to the Southside of town and rode paths until I was tired at the amount of Sunday evening walkers and would ride the street for a bit till I was tired of F-150's driving by and rode on the paths again.

Yesterdays ride broke a record for highest ascent yesterday on the GPS so I was a little sore today. The GPS is brand new by the way so I was not that special. I think it was around 400 meters.. Oh wait now I have to check to see if I am right. 

Meh… who cares. 

Beauty of a night out there kids. Night riding is coming very soon if not already. I did have the light on the bike just in case but was home way too early. 

It was a good way to kill forty minutes and kill those cobwebs. Here is hoping for a real ride tomorrow. 

Saturday, September 24, 2022

More September Amaze

I think the last two blog posts had me waking up in the morning reading them and splitting my coffee out at the screen cause of all the grammatical errors. I don't know why this happens from time to tie on here but I am blaming fatigue. Last nights beer review was quite terrible and we here at Lonebiker apologize as we know you people come here exclusively for the amazing writing. 


Why do you have to be this way? 

Why do I have to be like this? 

 Anyways it was more September amazingness today after missing yesterdays planned ride. Fort Saskatchewan tempted me again but I chose the north end parking at Gold Bar park and entering Hustlers fun singletrack which quickly made the fun go from 0-60 pretty quick.

It was Golddigger next with all the other regulars and they were all in spectacular condition and the changing leaves made the views spectacular.. Like Jennifer Aniston in a black push up bra under a white shirt outside gardening with a cute gardening hat. Sigh…. 

I somehow got lost and confused in the Dawson Park trails. A place I have frequented a million times. Yes that is an exaggeration but that is what it feels like. So how the fuck did I get turned around and lost? Stressful things happening outside of the bike world but still… 

I found my bearings and crossed the Dawson bridge after skirting by a nerd fest cosplay convention.. Or something like that.. It was strange. Guys in hoods were approaching whilst I tried to take the one and only rides coffee break. I got out not cause I was scared. I left cause I was scared I was gonna have to go beat up a bunch of nerds cause you know, I am a cool jock biker guy and all. 

It was Shooter Mcgavin taking me up to CaddyTrack and I have to admit it is not my favourite trail. Shooter Mcgavin that is, I appreciate it being there one hundred percent but I am a man of switchbacks and there are too many climbs where switchbacks  could have been used. Put switch backs into a trail many times and I will fall in love. That is why Low Class is such an amazing trail.

Caddytrack, Andres and Risky Business with my favourite trail running both ways Sideline being fun as hell despite a lot of traffic. No issues on the bike today or the trails. Some might say a year end top fiver.  That 18km section of trail I rode in the valley today is absolute dynamite.

Friday, September 23, 2022

Beer Friday. Edmonton Brewing & Malting Co, Wop May Hazy IPA


Holy shit do we ever do alot of IPA's on here. I just realized that right now as I was typing 'IPA' onto another beer Friday headline. I wondered how many so I checked the beer review archives and then realized I do them every so often which isn't too bad. 

So there. How much of your lives did I just wait making you read that?

Wop May was a Canadian fighter pilot hero from World War 1 who fought the famed Red Baron in a dogfight.  After the war he lived here in Edmonton and is now an Albertan flying legend thanks in part to his services in hunting wanted fugitives to training pilots and helping establish Edmonton as a major centre in ferrying planes from America to Russia for the second world war. 

Edmonton Brewing & Malting Co is making their debut on here and they gave Wop May some mad respect by naming their India Pale Ale after him. Something that the brewery does is honour a part of Edmonton's history on their cans which is very cool.

it poured a dirty golden colour like a proper IPA should. A smell of a slight citrus acid hit the nose as well as a light tracing of hops. You could tell this one won't have that classic IPA bitterness to it that so many of the new ones don't have anymore. Upon first taste it is confirmed that there is no bitter bite to this one either. Instead you get a nice easy drinking beer that has a slight citrus taste to it, the hops are there but do a good job of hiding themselves. In the end it was a fine beer to have on a Friday evening in front of the computer downstairs in the basement getting high on modelling fumes.

Hell yes.

This beer gets 3.5 suds out of 5. 

Thursday, September 22, 2022

September the Great

An exceptional ride on an exceptional day where the glorious day shift days off have officially begun.

Oh yes day shift days off. The one week where I have a full day ahead of me and I wake up at about seven at the latest. As opposed to the night shift week where I sleep till 11 at the earliest and one or sometimes later, this sleeping in happens late into the week. I remember waking up at 4 one day when I had to start days after a full week off. 

It was brutal.

But the ending to dayshift always gathers a Bikini Atoll mushroom cloud of happy emotions. Which is what I had today but I was sore and tired because I am old and somewhat decrepit. 

So I took it easy. I had flirted with a trip to Fort Saskatchewan as it's nice to ride when out of sorts physically. Fort Saskatchewan has challenging trails  but it is easy aerobically. making it the perfect destination for today. 

But I chose Mill Creek. Not a fancy mountain bike ride which where my new GPS seems to humiliate me as I am forced to enter "mountain bike ride" on the tracking but knowing full well I wouldn't be on singletrack for a minute for two on todays roll.

Something I don't like about the new GPS. why is there no selection for 'Bike Ride.' 

Just going on a bike ride… Thats all. But you must choose between commute, Mountain bike, gravel or road. What's wrong with just 'bike ride?' I mean come on...

Sorry to ramble.

The ride featured two… Thats right bitches. Two Tawatinâ bridge crossings going the same way in one ride. Thats right, that happened.

It was multi use and paved with a smattering of singletrack here and there. Well maybe a bit more than I thought. Nothing overly memorable on this one other than the trails and bike being as fun as ever.  Dawson bridge and the Walterdale took me back on the return loops with Tawatinâ slinging me north twice. 

A top notch way to start a good week. The September air was beyond awesome. I love my country.  

ahh yes… just leave that right there

Nightime Siege on the Great Coloniale

An unexpected ride in the middle of a night set rotation where so far I have only worked four hours. Some extreme drama as one might say its...