Sunday, April 26, 2020


The irony of this post after stepping up high on my soapbox talking down about the crowds in the river valley and why you should stay away is probably quite funny to you now.

There is a good excuse for this behaviour. I swear.

Both the hardtails are down now.  The Moots and the shitbike still need new chains. The Moots does have a good future plan with bro bean brethren member Kent where we are redoing some things via chainrings and front end. With the fear of me losing my job now that will sadly have to wait. I did however order some chains in this new world for pick up outside the store (it wasn't Hardcore, maybe that was my problem.) I ordered the chains at 2 and then called as I was confused how an individual buys things now. Do I order and drive straight there? Do I wait for a phone call or email? The fine person on the other end was very nice and assured me they will email me very soon and thanked me for the order.

I waited...

No email.

A phone call too late had nobody answer and now I am out two chains till Tuesday.

Well dammit.

That left me with the Rocky Mountain. Fitted with a new freewheel and chain this bike was in perfect condition to ride. Only problem? It's a trail bike. Meaning it's best service to you the rider is rolling over roots and sketchy obstacles while you grimace like a mad man perched in your saddle like a fucking rock star.

On pavement. This bike is a real piece of shit.

So my choices were. 1*A long real shitty pavement ride on the Altitude.
                                  2*Find some dry trails in Hairlip City (river valley.)

So it was a win win for the river valley. I parked at Old Timers with intentions of crossing the river as trails should be drier on that side of things. The amount of people on the trails instantly irritated me and I threw the headphones in with my lady Lana singing me into a peaceful yet hard riding awesomeness state where my bike was a magnet for dirt.

I crossed and knew of only one place to be. My baby Victoria's Secret!

I'll be happy to report, Me and Victoria are a couple again (don't tell my wife!) Once inside her sheltered canopy with the trails looking like a millenial's Instagram trails page I knew I had to have her back (I said don't tell my wife!) Once I popped out the other end (this is getting really weird) I made my move and we are a happy couple yet again!

Now forgive me for saying this. You might even fall out of your chair when you read this but some of the sections in Victoria remind me of the mountains.

*Pausing for laughter*

Seriously people. Top notch dry trail conditions there kids. I looped back to Groat Road Rollercoaster.. Yes I know. I just can't call it Lovers Lane. Have Emba or somebody send me a mean email again. I don't care.. I can't call it that. Unless somebody has a very cool back story but then... maybe.

The other highlight of the day was having sections of road opened up as the pedestrian use is at an all time high. Kudos to the city for doing this. I took advantage on Victoria Park road before my reunited love with my new lady (say anything to my wife! I dare you!) Other than riding on these streets my biggest pleasure is reading the comments these white trash enraged knuckle dragging rednecks are leaving on social media about them losing lanes.

They do realize there is no traffic right?


some people are real shitty. don't be real shitty

Toe Dabbing in the Fort SK

 A rather poor attempt at ruling the roost today in Fort Saskatchewan as I was off my game and misjudging rooty climbs followed by immediate...