Tuesday, August 4, 2015

High Humidity Rolling


 A return to the trails after a short absence. It was a short ride that started out quite shitty and ended with trail orgasms that would make the hard-corest of the hardcore pornstar blush.

Sticky, wet humid weather set the tone early after a rather glorious start in Mill Creek Ravine. Things started out great when I was on the upper Mill Creek trail from what I thought setting records for my high speed and incredible bike handling. I was just going to yell out "MAKE WAY FOR THE WORLDS GREATEST MOUNTAIN BIKER!" When suddenly 'BAM!' My left pedal ran right into a tree instantly stopping me. No crash happened but I did lurch over my handlebars all the while grunting really loudly. I can only think my grunt was akin to what Bigfoot would do when in heat and stuck in a tree while seeing Mrs Bigfoot walk away.

I swear I saw birds fly away just like in a movie when someone gets murdered in the woods after that incident.

Luckily nobody was around to hear my grunt but I was embarrassed nonetheless.

That seemed to set the tone for the next set of trails. I rode Bird House, Mid Ewok, CaddyShack, Andre's and Risky Business all with nothing in my legs. I wanted to press on towards Cambodia but with my time running out due to family commitments I went back through Risky Business, crossed the Capilano Bridge and rode to the top of Ada.

I hit SnakeBack on the way down and that is when the light turned to green. Every bit about that trail turned me on and I was alive. The bike sprang to life and I had some mojo back.

I pushed it into Skyline wondering why I always seem to ride it in reverse. After Skyline I went through West Coast and turned around after Gnome Trail.

The fun ended after Blue Man Group where I got off on the paved and groped my bike and told it that I loved it.

It was a solemn way to end a great short ride.

a big shout out to whoever did this
that left tree, oh how I hate it!

Beer Friday. Born Colorado, Opposite Day Amber Lager

 Hey kids. If you like coming here for the ride reviews and such we hate to inform you that after today's post there will be about three...