Tuesday, August 4, 2015

High Humidity Rolling


 A return to the trails after a short absence. It was a short ride that started out quite shitty and ended with trail orgasms that would make the hard-corest of the hardcore pornstar blush.

Sticky, wet humid weather set the tone early after a rather glorious start in Mill Creek Ravine. Things started out great when I was on the upper Mill Creek trail from what I thought setting records for my high speed and incredible bike handling. I was just going to yell out "MAKE WAY FOR THE WORLDS GREATEST MOUNTAIN BIKER!" When suddenly 'BAM!' My left pedal ran right into a tree instantly stopping me. No crash happened but I did lurch over my handlebars all the while grunting really loudly. I can only think my grunt was akin to what Bigfoot would do when in heat and stuck in a tree while seeing Mrs Bigfoot walk away.

I swear I saw birds fly away just like in a movie when someone gets murdered in the woods after that incident.

Luckily nobody was around to hear my grunt but I was embarrassed nonetheless.

That seemed to set the tone for the next set of trails. I rode Bird House, Mid Ewok, CaddyShack, Andre's and Risky Business all with nothing in my legs. I wanted to press on towards Cambodia but with my time running out due to family commitments I went back through Risky Business, crossed the Capilano Bridge and rode to the top of Ada.

I hit SnakeBack on the way down and that is when the light turned to green. Every bit about that trail turned me on and I was alive. The bike sprang to life and I had some mojo back.

I pushed it into Skyline wondering why I always seem to ride it in reverse. After Skyline I went through West Coast and turned around after Gnome Trail.

The fun ended after Blue Man Group where I got off on the paved and groped my bike and told it that I loved it.

It was a solemn way to end a great short ride.

a big shout out to whoever did this
that left tree, oh how I hate it!