Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Viva La Beaumont, Bitches!





Could there be anything better about this town? It's all full of whitey's just trying to get by, driving Escalades and listening to that awesome country music the kids call 'Pop country.' Wearing Albercombie and Fitch polo t- shirts tucked into their Docker shorts. Wait a minute, I think I just described Sherwood Park and St Albert. Beaumont is probably the third runner up in the white-man land dominatrix.

Oh geez... I think I just insulted another group of people on here in just under a week. First it was the 'alleged' trail builders. Then the people who inhabit Edmonton's accidental beach. Now it is the communities that are on the outskirts of Edmonton.

But the third one is ok cause I live here. I'm right about the whites. This place is a white paradise. With a private golf course and now a high end and absolutely delicious restaurant (Chartier.) Lots of nice houses with nice back yards to hide in because white people fuckin love that shit too!

The ride shouldn't have happened. Yesterday I announced I took a quick job which will shut down the blog for a couple days and I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness coming from the back reaches of my computer. Hell, the back reaches of the internet. I imagined all of you sitting in your 'I love Lonebiker' sweaters that your Mom knitted for you a couple of christmas's ago, sad and forlorn watching some dumb tv show about a family of hill billies hunting varmot in Texas.

A tear ran down my cheek.

'I must ride for them' I thought, so bravely putting down a welding helmet after taking a spark to the chest.

So I rode. Truth be told, Beaumont has some pretty good paths for families and dog walkers. Mine get out as much as we can between me and Mrs lonebiker. All in all, a pretty good town. Despite some very odd political decisions.

And Chartier. Damn... You must go there my friends. I'll be there tomorrow night with Mrs Lonebiker celebrating my two day work week on days off. Come say hi. Good luck with no reservation though...


oh my god! it's the beaumont bandits! (shreek!)
oh we got disc golf here!
beaumont puts the street benches the wrong way, cause go fuck yourself, that's why!

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