Monday, January 27, 2020

Top Ten Worst Rides in Lonebiker History

This would be easy to do... or so you would think. When choosing the worst rides ever posted on here we decided to post the rides that had the worst impact on mountain biking for myself (sorry for the narcissism). If it negatively affected the sport and hobby I love so much than the ride would get posted below. The short wobbly leg 5 km rides which end up at years end are much better than these.

Brethren members and others reading do appear in these. Need not be offended. We at lonebiker still love you. You just happened to be there when I was having an absolute shit day.

#10 The Summer Solstice Ride that Wasn't <click the link

I hate living far away from the trails. This is a good reason to move and live close to the valley. What is real sad is I'm pretty sure I took the day off for this.

#9 Five Guys, Five Bikes, Five Lakes <click the link

Riding in God's country with a full brethren plus a great guy by the name of Keith has all the makings of an epic day which would make it a top ten for the year at least. I remember riding to Wabasso and feeling a bit off and deflated so I broke from the pack and rode the highway back to town. An absolute horrible mistake. Highway riding on a full suspension straight into heavy wind made me question seriously why I ride bikes. An absolute shame as this had all the makings of a wonder-ride.

#8 Ride Fail at 5.7KM <click the link

Number one's ride on the list is so bad that it affected this one.

#7 Ride Fail <click the link

I remember this one completely ruining my one all time favorite month of the year. July. Now of course I'm in in classic white guy growing a beard cause I am a douchebag who loves October. I know that is the white guy equivalent to mature white women drinking and discussing how much they love wine. October fucking rules. OK.. July used to rule but it was this ride that made me change my mind and push July down the gutter where it belongs.

#6 Sleep Riding <click the link

This was my introduction to working nights. I had been a 7am-5pm Monday to Friday worker for my whole career and worked a local mod yard on nights for four months. The few days off I had were spent all fucked up and being wide awake and being dead tired at the same time at 3 in the morning. I decided to go for a ride when I felt like this. The result wasn't terrible. It just made me feel real dirty about life for some reason.Another ride where I wondered if riding will soon come to an end.

#5 The lost Thumb War  <click the link

It was an incredible night ride with Jason, Kent and some Hardcore bikes loyal riders. Jason lead and we were cruising fast through the dark singletrack. There was a glimmer of hope in my new job transition, I was in good riding shape to keep up with these monsters. Life was good. Than that root section in Old Timers.. After the hard crash I tried to keep on but left due to the pain. What I thought was a severely sprained thumb turned out to be a broken wrist. What would have been the ride of the year turned into a pile of throbbing wristed dog shit. No card in the camera resulted in crappy iPhone pics to top it off.

#4 Here We Go Again <click the link

The day of or after hearing about a sudden job change. Do I join these new assholes whom I had absolutely no respect for? I was quite convinced it was a horrible mistake as I had an option on a large severance which I knew was the smarter plan. Lots of fights with Mrs Lonebiker took place in regards to taking the new job. I was at my current job for 19 years and wasn't ready for a change especially with a bunch of white trash Cheetos eating micro dicks. I knew it was wrong which quickly ended up being by far the worst experience of working in my life.

#3 Terwillegar Bites Back <click the link

What was a shitty ride as the July heat and moisture had me feeling like a bag of shit. Plus I was in Terwillegar which at the time I really did not like and wrote about it in the blog quite a bit back in the day. The old singletrack where Go Trail now exists was gone thanks to the Henday bridge. As much as I love Go Trail I really miss that old trail. You know the countless mud puddles and all...  It did have it's charm and was rooted deep in my riding history. A shame Lonebiker didn't exist for some of its rides. The shitty ride came to an even shittier climax. A stop on a hard climb with a foot dab which resulted in rolling my ankle which broke it. Fun. Yep.. Broken ankle on a foot dab. I'm awesome.

Off the bike for months thanks to this ride.

#2 40 On Forty? <click the link

Failed birthday ride challenges are a standby on here. Turning forty though. That's a big one! I had high hopes for completing a forty km ride on my fortieth birthday. It wasn't that hard right? Well shit.. I think we should post every failed birthday ride challenge here at number 2. It did did not help as I was recovering from a bad cold.

#1 Bragg Creek Without the Bragging <click the link

This one stuck to me for a very long time afterwords. Like a bad break up, it was fucked. My first trip to Bragg Creek where it wasn't pouring rain. Jason and Keith joined with a surprise guest appearance by a few Calgary area riders who ride the area all the time. That had me a bit intimidated in the parking lot. Once the initial climb started I blew up in the worst way possible. The bonk was stellar. I had nothing. The whole group was forced to wait repeatedly as I continued on with my day. I am sure none of them thought much about my riding abilities but I was quite upset with the whole day. Mountain bikes are a very strong passion and in my fucked up psyche anything that puts a dent in that passion is pretty bad. This ride had put a serious dent in my passion which took a while to recover. I cannot for the life of me remember pink short guy.  Think my brain supressed the extra bad parts of that day out.

Beer Friday. Driftwood Brewery, Fat Tug IPA

 Well here we are bringing back beer Friday after a few absent weeks.  Or so I think..  I feel like it's been a month or so but who know...